“Triangular Logic”

EP.33: JAYKERS and RAY are joined by special guest MICHAEL for a wide-ranging, unfiltered conversation packed with real stories, off-the-cuff humor, and unpredictable moments. From wild auction house finds and personal experiences to spontaneous debates, hilarious tangents, and a chaotic round of Would You Rather, nothing is off limits.

MICHAEL even breaks down his take on something unexpectedly important “lumbar support” because somehow, it all connects.

This episode lives up to its name: Triangular Logic—three different perspectives, zero script, and pure unscripted energy.

If you’re into comedy podcasts, real conversations, guest interviews, and raw, unscripted talk shows, this episode of Unfit For Radio delivers exactly that.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Michael! What is the oddest thing you have ever seen come through your auction house?

SPEAKER_01 0:09

We actually had this uh this like game-used sock from a football player once. Uh I don't know who would be buying that, but some people would. Uh was he famous or something? Decently, yeah. Uh sock, though. Yeah, you know, they they they bring in sometimes we get game-used items that uh football, baseball, whatever sports players they use actually like get certified and use during a game, and people like those. But I don't understand that because they're like dirty and gross most of the time. Like the only game used thing I think would be cool would be like a base from a baseball game. Oh, that'd be more like a baseball or something, but someone's bat someone's yeah, but someone's clothes. We s some people buy that. I've seen some prices that are a little too high for what you would think.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

That is insane. Absolutely it is. Welcome to Unfit for Radio with Jakers. We are worldwide in more than 16 countries and locally tolerated in over a hundred U.S. cities. I'm your host, Jakers.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

I am Ray, known as the voice of reason and sanity and the senior star of the UFR Butch.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Alright, let's go. Joining us in this episode is someone who is new to you, but old to me. He's funny, smart, creative, and single. Yeah, I threw that in there for the ladies. Please help me welcome to the show for the very first time, Mr. Michael. Mikey, thanks for being here, man. And uh tell the audience a little bit more about yourself, please.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Hi, yeah. My my name is Michael. I uh I've known uh I've known Jakey for too long, I think. Uh we you know, we we we did some some fun church stuff together for a while, and then I bothered him for a little while after that, and then and then you know he doesn't text me for months and then ask me to come on here. So here I am.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

You haven't bothered me for a while, so now I gotta bother you.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yeah, you do gotta bother, you do bother me sometimes. It's all right though.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

You got that thick skin, you'll be okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. That that that's how it always goes, though. If there's no banter, there's no fun, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:12

So uh a little bit more about yourself. How you you born and raised in the valley? What about oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

I've lived I've lived here my whole life. Um lived in surprise, then Peoria, then Glendale. I'm back to surprise now. Uh so not really all over, but you know, all over if you count the West Side as all over. Yeah, lived here lived here 25 years. Um never I'm I'm gonna die here too. I don't know I was born here, I'm gonna die here. Raised here, gonna die here. I don't ever want to leave. You know, you have all those people that are just constantly all about wanting to leave the state, right? You know, you have this like huge subset of people that are just going, I want to go. Uh I hate it here. It's too hot in the summer. And I'm like, yeah, but you get used to it and it's not that bad. Yeah. Realistically, that's like my big thing, is is that so I'm like, I've lived here my whole life, I'm gonna die here. Um, I don't ever want to move to like Utah, like some people they just want to shovel snow. They just love moving to Utah, man. I don't know what it is, but I've been there.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Vacation there?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yeah, but like it's pretty, but I'm not I wouldn't live there.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

No, not at all. So if if if Arizona got shut down and you had to pick another state. Oh, that's hard. Let's let's do this one.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Uh Montana?

unknown 3:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah, um, Montana, but like somewhere where I'm rich enough to where I can have someone else take care of the snow. Oh because I hate snow with a passion. And so yeah. Okay. But all the states with all the other states without snow are just kind of boring, I think. So, you know, Montana's very pretty.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Uh I'm thinking you're offending some of our listeners at this point.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Oh, that's that's another thing about me, is that I just do that. Yeah. I will I will say I will say that.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

So uh you you uh you are single for the ladies, right? Or did I misspeak?

SPEAKER_01 4:08

No, uh yeah, unfortunately. Unfortunately, yes, I am. Uh dogs, cats, uh rats. What do you got? I have one cat. Um she's like 10 years old, so she's she's getting up there a little bit. But yeah. Pets I like. But um no, I I kind of I'm I'm kind of just a boring person in general. I'm sorry, ladies. Uh you work for an auction house. I do work for an auction house. Yes, I do work for an auction house. Uh we do mostly online auctions. It's a pretty fun job because I get to see a lot of cool stuff come through. Um I get to get to get to handle part of my job is actually handling it. So it's it's pretty dope if you like if you like autographs and historical stuff and and sports stuff. Um most of it's just the same. Like, you know, those those athletes that you know last half a season and are just kind of there, and then they just dump all their stuff to an auction house to get some money out of it. But hey, yeah, it's it's not the worst thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

When you introduced him as Mikey, which I know he doesn't like as a name, I was a bad I immediately thought about that old life commercial. Let's give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything. Mikey likes it. Yeah, that's what I thought of. And then when you talked about the auction, I was thinking, I don't know if I could work there because I'd want to buy everything.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Oh, yeah, that is one thing. They they don't let us bid on anything. No, as employees, no, we can't we can't bid on anything. We can sell stuff through. Well, that's fair, I guess, because then you guys we get insider knowledge, you know, like we know when auctions start, we know about what they sell for, yeah, yada yada. So they won't let us bid on stuff, but we can sell stuff if we have stuff.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

Um are they usually like really high priced items?

SPEAKER_01 5:56

It varies. You can get you know, stuff there will sell for three dollars, stuff will sell for a hundred thousand, you know. It's kind of like a it's kind of like a big in-between thing. Uh all sorts of stuff. Not just sports too, you know, we get pop culture stuff, historical stuff, World War II stuff, uh, you name it basically. But yeah, it's it's a it's a huge range of things. So you see a lot of different stuff coming in.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Do you ever get antique type stuff or no? No, that does that go to another autograph.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

No, we don't really do we don't deal in antiques at all. Um most of the time we deal in stuff that's been autographed. So like assigned stuff, uh, most of the time. Uh we we've gotten like we some like antique documents uh sometimes, but most of the time antiques are kind of their own separate category that we don't specialize in because they require a lot of very specialized work that we don't do, and most of our work is in sports.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Oh yeah, yeah, I can see those would not necessarily be compatible.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

So you're not the auctioneer, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

And like I said, we don't really have auctioneers because we're doing online auctions. Yeah, so it's the computer guy. So it's just people it's like it's basically just like you know how you bid on an item on eBay or something like that. That number goes higher and higher. It goes higher and higher, you know. Yeah, sometimes it doesn't go as high as uh people like. Oh, ouch.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

All right. Did you uh did you guys bring any jokes or stories to the episode? Anything you want to share?

SPEAKER_02 7:20

I've got some stuff as I always as I always do. You got some jokes, Mike?

SPEAKER_00 7:25

We could hear some, we could hear some Ray wisdom. Michael, Michael, you got some jokes. Some raised them. Me?

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Jokes? Raised them. I taught I told you that I don't I don't I I don't do like pre-planned jokes. I just kind of go with it.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

He don't do jokes.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

No, I don't do no I don't do I don't do stand-up style jokes. Like I said, I'm just kind of I just kind of riff, I'm a riff guy. He's a riff driver.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

So we're kind of winging this today. I'm a rift. Oh boy. I'm a riff.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

We're in trouble now, aren't we? Ouch. I should have wrote written some more things.

SPEAKER_04 7:57

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

I got a couple of jokes. Um, but Ray, you want to you want to go into some stories first? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

These are called court transcripts. These are actual uh right. Uh these are uh it actually happened in a courtroom and was taken down by the court reporter.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Yeah. So question. You say that the stairs went down to the basement? Answer. Yes. Question. And these stairs, did they go up also? No, they only went down. Yeah, it's all it's a one-way, it's one way down to the basement.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Once you're down there, you'd never come back up. Yeah, don't you know they're like those stairs that that will like turn flat the second you get down to the bottom. You gotta put a coin in there like a cart. You gotta put a coin in the bottom. You gotta put a coin in the bottom like the carts at Aldi. Just slap that in there.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Did you saw that? They make those uh coin, uh those coin keys on like I don't even want to say, but you can buy them and then you stick the little plastic thing in there and it unlocks it.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

My mama has one of those. Yeah, because we we love our Aldi. So Aldi.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Yeah, I've learned about Aldi. I've been there recently. Such a great store. I like that store.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Such a great store. It's so cheap, but it's super good quality stuff.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

And you don't have to buy it at like Costco sized quantities. So makes it even better. Their dairy, especially, is really good.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I got a big family. I need that Costco sized five-gallon tub of sour cream and I'm telling you though.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

The yeah, Costco's Costco's still my go-to for most things. I especially like protein powder and stuff, because you can't get better deals.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

So, Ray, you said that was from my uh jury member, or what how's this from the court?

SPEAKER_02 9:36

No, these are from the court. The the the the uh the court report court reporter or something. Yeah, no, the um the attorneys are asking people on the witness stand the questions, and then they're answering, and then this is what happens.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

And these are people with a law degree asking these questions?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yeah, they probably just have to cover all their legal bases, you know. They're like, all right, well, now we we've stated that the stairs go down, but now we also have to state that the stairs go up because if we don't, then someone's gonna be like later, be like, hey, they didn't ask about the stairs going the other direction, so now this evidence is thrown out, or something like that. No, it's it's insane how specific they have to be in the legal system. And I'm not even a guy that knows anything about the legal system. I just I just have seen stuff where I'm just it's crazy, exactly things like that. It's hilarious, though. Makes you laugh.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

These only get better. Are you ready for this one? This one might have to see if it passes the sensor, okay? Alright.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

The Jakers.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

The question What is the meaning of sperm being present? Answer. It indicates intercourse. Question. Male sperm? Answer. That's the only kind I know of. Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

I can't believe somebody actually said that.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

I can't believe you said that while I'm eating a cookie. You're trying to choke me out.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

I didn't know you were gonna choke on it.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

Oh no. Ray, that's crazy. Yeah. Really? Somebody really asked if it was male or female. Like, yeah, I yeah. I don't know about that. I mean, in this day and age, I can understand, but I don't think it was written in this day and age.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

No, it wasn't. These are these are older ones.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Uh moving on. Here's another one. Question. Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact. Sounds like a car accident.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Immediately before impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Right next to my left foot.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

You know, that's a good answer if it was a case of uh the foot coming off somehow. Yeah, like if it was an amputee or something.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

My foot stayed with me this entire time.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Yeah, don't worry about it. You know, it it didn't go through the windshield at any point in this.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

It didn't strike anybody.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

They gotta, they gotta, they gotta clarify. They always have to clarify. That's the important stuff. Oh my gosh. Yeah, because if uh because if it's not clarified, then it doesn't exist, and it'll just call a mistrial.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Okay, here's one with the doctor testifying, okay? Oh they ask the doctor, doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? Answer all my autopsies have been on dead people. I don't understand. Maybe these attorneys are so busy with the big picture or something they don't understand what they're at asking.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

After that, yeah, I'd have to ask. You know, they could also be dyslexic. Like uh someone else here.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

The host, me, the host. Yeah, I'd have to ask, like, how many autopsies have you done on people that's alive after you ask an ignorant question like that? I mean it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Anyway, yeah, it's uh it's uh it's that backwater country doctor stuff, you know? They just just give you just give you a uh wooden stick to put between your teeth before they start hacking at it.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Yeah. Civil war style.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah, exactly. They just pour some brandy over it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

No, thank you. This one is dedicated to um Jacers, because this is something that he might Okay he that's a way with his dyslexia ready. Question Question. Now, Mrs. Marsh, your complaint alleges that you have had problems with concentration since the accident. Does that condition continue today? Answer No, not really. I take a stool softener now.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

That's that auditory dyslexia right there.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

They said concentration and she thought constipation. So she heard a couple letters.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Well, at least that part of it's cured, you know. You never know.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Yeah, yeah, everything's softened. Oh moving on.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Hey, I got I got a long list here. You want to go over this list? What is it? Your grocery list? No.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Are we talking about Costco again?

SPEAKER_02 14:04

No. I I hey, I always spend $300. It used to be I spent $100 when I went in. Then it went up to $200. Now it's like $300. I guess the prices are going up, or I buy more. I'm not sure which.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Could be both. I'm in that situation. I went to Costco the other day to get like paper towel and a couple other things. My receipt was like $320.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

I'm like, what the those couple other things really got you, didn't they? Yeah, a couple of couple of other things.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

You know what? All I care about though is that the hot dog is still a dollar fifty.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

And the CEO eats the hot dog at the estation. Unlike the, yeah, let's you know. Let's call it a product.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Yeah, that's uh that McCEO thing was absolutely ridiculously funny because I thought I thought I thought I didn't see it initially, and I thought everyone was just like ragging on this guy for no reason. I was like, there's no way that this video went like that. And then I watched it, and I'm thinking, okay, so they decided to film this concept, then they filmed this concept, then they got this concept approved, and nobody stopped them in between edited, and nobody stopped to say, hey, this might make us look bad. Because I do, but although all good all press is good press, I guess, because that's the whole saying, right? But I think in this case, uh it hurt them a little too much. But then all the other CEOs uh of these these large food chain companies decided, oh, we're gonna jump on this bandwidth. So we had uh I think Jack in the Box put out a commercial for it. Uh Burger King. How'd he do that with the mask? Oh, it I think he took it off and he was like this like super Jack dude or something like that. Uh and then there was the Burger King one uh who he's like he was ragging on him and he actually took like a a full bite of the whopper and he's like, oh, and then he he he made fun of him calling it a product. The Costco CEO came in and he started talking about the dollar fifty hot dog. So I guess it worked in the sense that it got them it got them notoriety, but I I still that's my hang-up about the whole McDonald's thing, right? Is why would they release that video? There's there's no way this got past the like 20,000 corporate board like people that have to go over this and are like, yeah, we're gonna put this on our social media right now because this is how we want to look everyone to look at our everyone to look at our food and on all of our stuff. And this was for a product launch too.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

This is a product for sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Oh, it is a product launch. And this was a launch for one of their their new burgers and stuff, too. And that was the big thing. Like, I'm like, it's it's a big Mac, like whatever, right? But they're trying to promote something. I don't know. I I I don't pretend to understand how corporations think because most of the time I think they don't, they just see dollar signs, and that's kind of where they go.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

And the lawyers get in and say you can't say that, so it dumbs them down, and then they're not even realizing what they're saying because it used to be a hundred percent uh uh beef patty, then they just say it's a beef patty. Now it's just a patty.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah, it's the same way with ice cream. Have you noticed that? Like Briars?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Oh, it's a frozen dessert, it's a dairy dessert now.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

The only frozen dessert, no doubt. The only the only briar's now that is called actual ice cream legally is their vanilla and their chocolate. Everything else they can't legally call ice cream because it doesn't have enough ice cream ingredients to be called ice cream. So they have to call it frozen dairy dessert.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I didn't realize they had fake stuff.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah. Every time you go to the frozen food section, if it says frozen dessert, it's fluffed up with a bunch of stuff that you don't necessarily.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

It can only legally be called ice cream when it has a certain percentage of cream and milk in it. And it's kind of like it's kind of like how bell's meat is only 80% meat, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Uh but the other stuff is natural ingredients, Michael.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Natural could be anything. Natural could be in the internet. And they found sand in there, I've I've heard.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

They found uh many allegedly on all these stories, they're all alleged.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Yeah, because they can't technically prove them. But yeah, you know, at least uh, like I said, Taco Bell, they can't they had a hit piece uh taken out on them uh in like a newspaper once where it was like Taco Bell's meat is only 15% actual meat. And then Taco Bell comes back and says, actually, guys, it's only like 80% meat. Uh it's like at least they're at least they just don't like at least they just know what their clientele is, right? Taco Bell knows who their clientele is. They're like, these people want to come here at two in the morning for the same five ingredients done in 20 different ways. Uh they don't care if it's real meat or not because it's a two-dollar burrito. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

They want to eat and go home.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Exactly. And you have to eat it in the car because by the time you get home, it's cold and gross. It lasts a whole five minutes before it's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

20 things that kids today don't recognize. Now, since Michael's still a kid, uh, we'll see if he recognizes any of these things. You're offending our guests.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

I was raised like a normal person, not an iPad kid. Those came after me.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Okay. And we'll see how much Jakers remembers. We talked about this, some of these things the other day, and he actually knew some of these things. So that I was I was in the world. Did I surprise you? Uh yes, you did. Okay, these are these are in order, but I don't know what kind of order they're in, so it doesn't really matter. I'll just start. We'll just start at the top. One is number one is Palm Pilot. Oh, that's a you remember that? Did you see did you you never had one though, did you?

SPEAKER_01 19:35

No, but I'm really into technology, so I'm like I all the retro tech and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

I'm super into what got us here today, yeah. Okay. Number two, paper maps. Now that's all I use. I'm I've never used a GPS, don't know how to use it, never have, never will, but I I love paper maps.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, we we grew up uh we had an atlas, like a full, like a world atlas, um that we use a big old book. Um and then I remember one of the one time I got like a topographical map of of Arizona, which was pretty cool. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Yeah, I've I've had I've looked at topographical maps, but all those little lines on there kind of uh disorient me because it's it's elevation and it's yeah, but that's the cool part. Yeah, it is. Number three, mail order Netflix.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

They actually recently stopped that, I think less than like five years ago.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

That was the thing. I'd never been to the post office so much in my life. Like you you get one in your mail, then you have to hurry up and go to the post office, send it back because you only get like five. So you want to make sure it goes out that day so you get more, and oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yep, that I grew up. We watched um we would watch TV shows like that, and you know, each disc was a DVD, so and DVDs only hold five gigabytes of data, so you'd only get like three episodes on a disc. So you'd watch those three episodes, you send it back, get another three. At least, you know, at least uh at least you weren't having to deal with the binging garbage. Uh so that was yeah, we watched I I distinctly remember the sh uh the show that we watched the most as a family back when Netflix was on DVD was Little House on the Prairie. I think we watched the entirety of the original Little House on the Prairie series just through Netflix DVD, just bit by bit, very slowly.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Mine was uh Deadliest Catch. Oh I watched like from season one to I think season five or eight or something.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yep yeah, whenever they start actually putting it on TV and I remember when they first introduced the the streaming portion of it, uh you could it was very few titles. Um I remember it just being such a cool and but funny funny part about that is that back when that was a thing, we still had dial up. We still had free Hulu, we still had dial up back when they first started their full streaming service. So we could we could barely use it. We had dial up way later than some people. We had dial up until I was like eight or nine. So I don't know what my parents were doing.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

They were dialing up.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Go home.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

I don't know how anybody operated.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Don't ever do that in my ears again. Oh. Yeah, I don't I don't miss dial-up. Trust me. I was waiting for my like flash games to load for like three or four minutes before I could play anything when I was younger. Had the family room computer, you know, like the computer that was open to everyone could just use like a big old desk. Are you dying? Not quite. Not quite. We had we had one of those big old CRT monitors, it was as big as this table kind of thing. Uh I remember all those, yeah. I remember the big deal when we finally got rid of our dial up. It was like, whoa, you you things take seconds instead of minutes to load? That's crazy, bro.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Yeah, I think that would be the biggest change with from dial-up to cable or whatever. Oh yeah. It just comes right in. Dial-up to I never had dial-up, so I wouldn't know. Uh number four, a church key can opener. You know, the kind that made the the triangle in the in the thing. Uh I because the cans didn't used to have pop tops. You know, you had to you had to open them with the with the little this little key thing.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Yeah. I don't like the pop tops because when you do it, it leaves a little ring and you can't get everything out. So I like I like using my can opener anyways because it takes the whole time. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I mean, even if I have a tab for it, I'm gonna I mean unless I'm like, okay, I'll I'll I'll admit, I'm one of those guys. I still like spaghettios. Anybody else like spaghetti?

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Oh my gosh, we got a chef boy or a knee in the house.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

No, no, no, no. I but I will just open the can and eat them out of the can. I will cold. Straight cold, just open the can, eat it. Yeah, see, Ray Garden. Yeah, they're good. All they're good that way. No, you just straight cold. You just buy it, you bring it home, you pop the can, you get a spoon, and you eat it, and it's so good. You are all American. My best friend Peter, uh, I have told him that before. He hates it. He's like, thinks it's the nastiest thing that I do. And I'm like, I could, I could, I do nastier things than spaghettios. I don't want to hear it. And it is, it's me neither. Yeah. Me neither. I don't want to hear it. I'm just saying, yeah, there's those uh we didn't I don't think we ever had like a like a keyhole can opener, but we had the the ones that uh you would uh you the manual crank ones for a while. Oh yeah, the manual crank. Yeah, you you pinch them. You have yeah, you have like the plier type handles, and you you you you pinch it on the side and you just do this and then it spins. We had that for a long time, and then we finally got like an electric can opener. Yeah, one of those digital ones where it's like you stick it in there and this can starts moving by and yeah, we got we got one of those a while ago, and I'm like, whoa. Uh but yeah, for for so long, and and we actually still we actually uh we had one that was in the family for like 20 years. One of those crank can openers, it still works, it's still in the kitchen drawer somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

Probably worth some money.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Sell it at your auction house.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Yeah, yeah. Just get it signed by Gordon Ramsay or something.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Yeah, yeah. Anybody here remember a Rolodex or ever use one? A Rolodex? Rollodex.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Yes. I don't know this one. But the way you pronounced it a Rolodex, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Yeah, I kind of mispronounced it.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

A Rolodex, yeah. I don't know, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:34

It's uh it's a little thing you set on your desk and it had cards in it, and you put the people's names and address phone numbers on it, and you twit it around. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

So, yeah, yeah. Actually, I never had one of those because I was when they were around, I was too young for to like have content, right? But I know my dad had one on his desk. Remember it because I would like to do that.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Those are so cool. I remember having you cat had everything so right right there in front of you.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

And each contact would have their own little index card kind of thing, and it was fun. I yeah, we had we had my dad had one of those on his desk because and I mean he had a pager, you know, back in the day. He had one too.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Actually, he was a guy. Yeah, I I loved my pager pager.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah, it was it was one of the nice it was the two because he worked at a group home. Oh, okay. And so, you know, sometimes he was a therapist at a group home back then, and you know, they'd have like clinical emergencies and stuff, and they have to like page him. But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

I remember that.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

I love my pager.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

I remember something my dad had on his desk back in the day that I played with because you were talking about that sometimes. Yeah, what's that? Uh he would always have like blueprints on his desk, but the thing that I was referring to is um he had the thing that would like read the blueprints, the measurements device, the little metal thing, and then when you roll it over, it like tells you the calculations on how many feet or what's you know, it's like some sort of measuring device for blueprints. I used to play with that little roly thing, get the number so high, see how high I could get it.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

I've never seen one of those.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

I think I know what you're talking about. I don't know the name of it. I don't know what it's called, but I I know the vibe of what you're talking about. I remember some. And I mean, hey, it's crazy now because like any sort of like architectural software, you can just do that automatically. I mean, even on Google Maps now, did you know that? Yeah, you can you can click and drag for distances and stuff. No, really, you can get actual feet and you can get actual like e like like you know, you you're like, okay, so how how long far is this from each other? Because it's hard to get scale on maps sometimes. Yeah, and you can actually like do that now on Google Maps and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

You can get actual distances, and not just the miles between like not just the driving miles, you know, and all that sort of stuff and whatever.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

But yeah, I know what you're talking about. Uh the tool, I just can't place what it's called, and it's probably gonna kick me when I look it up later.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

But yeah, it was it was fun. I used to play with that thing all the time. But anyways, which well else you got Ray.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Well, this is number six. This will be the last one on this list because uh we'll go on to other stuff. But uh this goes back farther than both of you, I think. A test pattern on a TV screen.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I mean, we didn't have that, but I know what it is.

SPEAKER_03 28:07

I remember the tube TVs that had the three colors.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Yeah, you have your you have your magenta, you have your your green and well that was the color bars, but this is an actual test pattern where it had lines and it had the Indian guy on the middle, and they have those for like projectors, but I don't know about TVs. They had it because the TV would go off at midnight or so, and then it would come on at 6 a.m. in the morning, and and in between they had this test pattern that you turn on TV and that's all you got.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

You didn't have the oh like the airways showed that? Yeah, yeah, they showed that. I thought you meant like when you turn on your TV that it just regularly showed that you had to like. Yeah, that was what I was confused about.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

I was like, okay, if you got a little Indian man every time you turn like tune your TV every time you turn it on, I would just leave it on. Yeah, no, that's the cost of arm and a leg.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

That's what the station sent out because they didn't want dead air, so that's what they have.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Yeah, it was the it was it was like the precursor to a screensaver, basically.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Yeah, it was, yeah, yeah. Wow, interesting. Letting them know that they're there, but they're not there. Yeah. They're like, we'll be back later.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Because yeah, because back in the day, you know, TV would they'd sign off at the end of every night. Um, and so no 24-7 programming, really.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

I think no paid programming to get you to if you call now.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

No, they didn't have the those those 2 a.m. those 2 a.m. infomercials. Oh no, there was like the there was like the Shirley Temple collection one. There was all those CDs. Oh my goodness. Oh, and it was always different. People like there was the there was uh one for uh I think there was like a Michael Bublet one, there's like a Mariah Carey one, there's a whole bunch of those.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

And then they'd sell the playlist, like it somebody would make a mix of a playlist.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

It's how you mix tapes and like it were like greatest love songs.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Oh yeah, you know, uh stuff like that. They were fun to watch though, because I mean all night long it they'd be like pushing the music, so you'd you'd hear the different samples of music in the background.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

That'd be one of those things where you like fall asleep watching TV late at night as a kid and you wake up at like two or three in the morning and you just see one of those infomercials, so it's like a fever dream.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I got the song in my head. Where did it come from?

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Yeah, you wake up the next morning and you're like, why am I thinking about Shirley Temple's Shirley Temple right now? It's like, no, it's wild. I remember, I remember that. But we we didn't really do much TV when I was growing up because my parents uh rightly, you know, didn't raise us off the the TV. No, you want to go to the I was a I was a reader, I was a huge reader.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Are you a good reader now?

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Oh yeah. Still still was. I used to, but when I was a kid, I used to like because back in the day, you know, libraries they had a max amount of books you could check out at one time. You couldn't just go there and get 40 of them, obviously. Uh and so I would always like check out the max amount of books when I was younger, and then I would just return them all within a week and be like, all right, we're good. Next ones. Uh that kind of reader. Like the guy who would do the summer reading programs at the library kind of reader. Yeah. Hey, they got you a free book at the end of it, so it was very worth it.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

But wow, I thought I was a good reader. I never checked out that many at one time.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

I was well, I mean, that was when I was a kid and I had time. We should have a spelling bee between you two. Yeah, we should. Yeah, yeah. I actually have a spelling bee story. Oh, really? Okay, I'd like to hear this. Uh I I did them when I was a kid all the time. Uh I never won one. The most I got was okay, so the first spelling bee I ever did, uh I lost because this is when I was very young. I lost because I couldn't spell the word what. Uh what? When I was I was young, okay. And the uh next spelling bee I did, um, what grade was this? Um it was I think third or fourth grade. Um I got second place, and it's the highest I've ever placed in a spelling bee. I should have gotten first place, but the organizers and the judges didn't know the rules on how a spelling bee works.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

And so they gave this other girl first place when I usually got first place. I was very, very annoyed about that. Uh I lost because I didn't know. Sounds like you still are. I couldn't I'm still I still remember. I I misspelled the word together.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

That I remember specifically to get her.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Yeah, exactly. That was my dad. Well, my dad was mouthing to me from the audience, but I didn't understand what he was saying. Uh and yeah, I would have got first place, but the organizers didn't know the rules when I uh because it was just me and this other girl left. That was it. It was just me and this other girl left. And we should I should have gotten first place because um then she missed the next word that she had, which meant I should have got first place, but then they gave it to her. And so it was this whole thing. I don't remember it too clearly, but I just remember I still held a grudge about that for like three or four years, uh, because I got second place at a spelling bee in fourth grade.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

Did you guys go to school together or anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Or uh I never saw her again in my life after that. No. So that might be a good thing. Yeah, I would have I would have probably Mr. Mr. Fifth grade Mr. Fifth Grade Michael come out and just sucker punch, you know. Break all of her pencils, all the ribs, more like ouch. Jeez, not quite. No, I I remember being really mad and I cried for a while. Hey, I was in third grade. What do you expect?

SPEAKER_02 33:16

No, that hit a sauce button. I'd be mad too if I if I should have gotten a big. If I also had a technicality, I should have got first place.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

I still have the second place ribbon, I still have it. It's somewhere in my like memory box. I should have got first place. Anyways, that's my spelling bee story, is how I learned that the world isn't fair and people don't know the rules about things sometimes. It happens. Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Okay, here's the true story of Shikita Banana. During World War II, almost no bananas made it to the United States shores. Because the United Fruit Company's fleet of ships had been commandeered to move war supplies.

SPEAKER_04 33:53

What?

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Yeah. After the war, the company wondered how to reintroduce the fruit to the American public. Their solution? A radio ad campaign featuring a singing banana. The you know the song I'm Chiquita Banana, and I'm here to say you know how that one is. Their Calypso style jingle became so popular that it was even released as a record and hit number one on the pop music charts. No way.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

So is that like one of the first early examples of super viral marketing then? It must be. It must be. Yeah. Because that was back when radio was when back then, like TV was basically non-existent. It was non-existent. Uh they had T. I think they only had um back back back in World War II. I think there were only three places that it even had TV channels. I think it was it was New York, New York, Philadelphia, and Chicago. I think so. I think the only for so long. And so, you know, radio was the thing. Everyone had a radio set, everyone had a transistor, everyone had a radio. And so I they that was when radio became commonplace, was when they first started the whole viral marketing thing. And that would that would be an interesting one too, like to think about it's like when did when did that whole like the the whole jingle thing start and all and all that? But uh, yeah, that makes that's fun. That's fun. I like stuff like that. Yeah, but that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Uh because I mean five years is a long time. I guess you forget about yellow fruits in a five-year span.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

I guess you do. This is about uh Jack the Cracker Jack Boy, and Bingo his dog.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

You want to hear about Cracker Jack Boy?

SPEAKER_03 35:27

Yeah, and bingo.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

Don't leave bingo. No, we can't leave out bingo. The Sailor Boy was added to Cracker Jack packages during World War I as a salute to our fighting boys, but he was modeled after the company's founder, young grandson, Robert, who often wore a sailor suit. The dog was named Bingo after the children's song, you know, B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name, oh. But no, I don't know. We say it one more time. You don't know that song? No, I'm not going to sing it. I've said that enough in in preschool. I'm not going to do that again. Sad footnote as the first sailor boy packages rolled off the presses, Robert got pneumonia and died. Oh no. Oh. So his the logo can also be seen on his tombstone in Chicago. Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

I don't think I'd want to be known for that on my tombstone. I think I'd rather not be known for a company branding, you know.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

You don't want to be known for your Chiquita banana, neither.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

No, none of my Chiquita banana. My Chiquita banana satisfies nobody. Cut that.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

Hey, if you've been vibing with the show and enjoy what we're saying, take 10 seconds and drop us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more people to find us. We seriously appreciate it. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

It's orange and sounds like a parrot. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

An orange parrot?

SPEAKER_02 36:54

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

A carrot.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

If you weren't sitting so far away from me, I would strangle you.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

It's orange and it sounds like a parrot. Carrot. Thank you. That was good.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

That was not good. We do not give brownie points here.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Again, if you're enjoying the show, five stars. Review.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Yeah, but if you have to hear him talk so much, I would only give it four at most. Oh my gosh. Last episode you're on. Yeah, give it give it an eighty. Hey, an 80% is still passing.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

You have another one of those jokes. I thought that was good.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

He's your biggest, he's your biggest fan.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

You want the same thing?

SPEAKER_01 37:32

He's gonna rate it, he's gonna rate it five stars.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

Yeah, you could tell me the same joke and I'd pretend like I never heard it before. So I'll I'll give you some more later before we go.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Yeah, that's how I am with movies. My mom is with movies. She has to ask me if she's seen a movie or not because she can't remember. She'll she'll be like, she'll be like, Michael, uh, I'll mention a movie and I'll talk about it. And she'll be like, Michael, have I seen that? And I'm like, I don't know. Have you? It's so funny. I'm like, this this this woman, she doesn't have memory problems. That's how my mom is with movies. She doesn't remember stuff, but I have to tell her when she's seen something. Uh she is just like, hey, have I seen this movie or not? I'll be like, Yes, mom. We watched this together last year in the theaters. Or no, have you seen this movie? I don't know. Yeah. It's just the weirdest thing.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

I'm in the same boat with her, though. I must have a movie memory disorder because my wife will ask me, Hey, did you ever see, like, for instance, The Hills Have Eyes? Yeah. I'll be like, No, I don't think I've ever seen it. And then she'll put it on, and we'll get like 20 minutes into it, and I'll be like, Oh, yeah, I've seen this movie. It does, it's this, it's that, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'll tell her the whole entire ending. She gets so furious. She's like, You see, you didn't see it. But it's like, but I don't remember the title, I just remember the story.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Exactly. And it's only movies, right? Because like she doesn't, she doesn't have a bad memory about anything else. Like, she'll remember where she's been, she'll remember what restaurant she's eaten at, she'll remember all that. It's just movies.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

It's because it's programming. So, what I compare it to with my wife, I tell her all the time, I'm like, I only have like uh a one terabyte of memory, you know. So I gotta delete some of this other memories that I don't need. Like, I don't need to remember that Michael came in here with yellow shoes. That's not a memory that I need. I can just like completely delete that and then think about something more important.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

And yeah, yeah, it it's it's one of those things that just kind of in when you're out, the other. It's it's just you watch something, you're like, that was good, and then it's just gone, right? But I mean, I at least know if I've seen something, even if I don't remember what it's about 100%. I can tell you if I've seen a movie, at least, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

Maybe your mom has some more things going on upstairs than you do, as far as like, okay, she doesn't want to forget her son's birthday or her the first birthday or the second birthday. She has other memories she's trying to hold on to, and you're sitting here judging her. I don't remember those.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

I got your back, mom.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

I don't remember my first birthday. She does.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

Ask her, she'll tell you about it.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Anyways, right? Okay. We totally.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Hey, we're going back to the courtroom here. Oh, this is a strange lawsuit.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Yes, Your Honor.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Oh, yes, Your Honor. Yes. The plaintiff, a 25-year-old mortuary driver. The defendant, a California highway patrol officer. The lawsuit. The driver was stopped in Orange County and given a ticket for driving in a carpool lane with no passengers. He protested that he had four passengers, the frozen corpses he was transporting. He went to court to overturn the ticket. He had to pay the fine. Oh no. They didn't count those dead bodies as passengers.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

I mean, they're not alive.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

They should not be counted because they're not Yeah, they're not alive riding with him. Yeah, that's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

I mean, that is kind of a funny way to get around it, but also um if I was an officer, I don't think I'd care enough to give someone a ticket. He must have had to meet his quota or something.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

Yeah, something like that, because I wouldn't have cared about that. Apparently they don't have quotas allegedly, but hey, but you know, I like using that as an excuse.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Yeah. I know they got something because I mean when you can go through the entire month and you don't see any motorcycle cops, but all of a sudden, like at the first or the 30th or right near here or there, there's like 45 motorcycle cops. It's like, dude, I didn't know that the city had 45 motorcycles.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

I always get nervous about motorcycle cops, specifically due to the fact that all three accidents I've been in in a car have come with a motorcycle cop near.

SPEAKER_03 41:43

Ouch.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

So every time I think I'm like, oh no, something's gonna happen, right? Uh, because like when I was when we were younger, we got rear-ended once. There was a motorcycle cop right there. Um, one time we were making a left turn, got T-boned at an intersection because someone ran a red light. There was a motorcycle cop right there. One time when, yeah, someone breaks. He's not a part of the accident, he's just getting blamed for being there. It's just anytime I see a motorcycle cop, I'm like, oh man, am I gonna get hit out of nowhere or something? Oh my gosh. And it it just it just kept happening and it was weird. I'm like, I guess it's nice to have a an officer right there, but um Yeah, they could be a witness.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Yeah, my my my dad got pulled over uh on the day I was born uh by a by a by a cop uh because he didn't stop at a stop sign. And the kicker said he had his mother-in-law in the car with him. Oh and they were going to the hospital to be with uh to because he picked up he picked up uh he picked up my grandma to go to the hospital. Yeah, to go to the hospital, and he was driving there and he got pulled over, and grandma to this day does not let him live that down because it wasn't even like something that was worth pulling him over, because he did a rolling stop at a stop sign. And there was a cop right there, and he was a young, a little and so and dad still brings that up, and grandma. Yeah, and and dad still brings that up because grandma was like my son-in-law got pulled over and trying to get to the hospital to see my daughter.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

He should have let him go. He was on his way to the hospital. He actually got a ticket though.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Yeah, he did. Oh god, that's not right. It wasn't even a warning, too. It was a full ticket, and he's still pissed about that to this day. He will bring it up any chance he gets.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Ouch. And so are you.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Yeah, well, I I bring it up only because I hear him talk about it so much.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Well, do you want me to talk about pay toilets or do you want me to talk about the price of gas? Um, price of gas because it's more relevant to very topical. Okay, here you go. And you and you like this year almost. You remember I was bringing up 1942. This is 1941.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

1941, a gallon of regular gas costs 19.2 cents. Now, the least I ever paid, and that was back in the 70s. 70s, I paid I think 17 cents a gallon and when they were having gas wars, but it it averaged around 22 to 25 cents a gallon back then.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

Really? Yeah, I did. I remember growing up the cheapest I have an actual real memory of gas being, and I think it was like 99 cents a gallon. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Cheapest I think the cheapest I remember was buck fifty, I think.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

50 cents?

SPEAKER_01 44:24

A buck fifty. A dollar fifty, I think, is the cheapest I ever like consciously remember seeing for gas prices.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

And I always remember diesel was cheaper. Cheaper. Yeah, it used to be cheaper.

SPEAKER_01 44:37

Sometimes it is. Every once in a while, you'll get this weird flip where diesel is cheaper than yeah, but most of the time it's not anymore.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

No, it's like the same price as premium or higher.

SPEAKER_01 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Yeah, I don't understand that, but oh, you want to hear about the pay toilet? Okay. Okay. Because we always have to have toilet information in, you know, every every episode. In the signature. You're an odd guy. I know, I'm an odd guy. Ready?

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

So few people owned indoor toilets in Terre Haute, Indiana in 1910. Remember, this is 1910. Wow. That when the Pennsylvania Railroad installed some at the train station, they became one of the town's major attractions. Some locals came to use the facilities, others merely to marvel. But the restrooms were so jammed with admirers that when the trains pulled into the station, passengers literally had no place to go. So the railroad installed coin-operated locks and gave the station master a key to let ticket holders in for free.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Okay. I don't like those coin locks, though. I mean.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

No, those are all over Europe, though. We I ran into that over there a lot.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

They they have paid toilets over there. Europe has a lot of them, Japan has a lot of them. There really isn't a concept of free public restrooms in a lot of those countries.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

No, there isn't. You're gonna pay your dues.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Yeah, it also because they have to they have to keep them clean and stuff. So yeah, somebody's gotta pay for that. Somebody's gotta pay for that. And you know, it's not the taxpayers.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

Alright, Ray, I'm gonna tell you a joke, and when I tell you when I tell you it, you're gonna ask me, how hot is it? Okay, I will do that. Well, Ray, it's that time of year. It's hot in Arizona. How hot is it? It's so hot, the cows are now producing evaporated milk.

unknown 46:26

Evaporated.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

I like that one. No comment. I had not heard that one. I've heard some hot jokes, but not that one.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

Hot jokes. Yeah, hot jokes. I refuse to give that a response.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

Do you want a cold joke? Okay. Why don't mountains get cold in the wintertime? I have no idea why. Because most of them wear snow caps. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

So you like the first one, but not that one, huh?

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Yeah, he likes the milk, but not the snow caps. Yeah, I like the first one.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Oh I see. Now Ray has standards. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

Yeah. Yeah. Unlike you.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Wow. Oh. Why? Because you're on the program and exactly. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

I lowered the bar just for you. Let the record show that when he invited me, I said, Wow, you already ran out of decent guests. That was what I said.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

I complimented you. I said, Wow, you've been listening.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

And I said, No, I have not.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

Then how do you know I ran out of decent guests?

SPEAKER_01 47:26

Because you asked me to be on.

SPEAKER_03 47:28

Yeah, well, this show doesn't have to err. It could be a backup.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Hey, I'm saying I listened to the first episode, and then every once in a while, when it pops up on my Instagram. So your marketing is working.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

I don't have marketing. That's a problem. I don't have anybody. I'm doing everything. Not everything. Ray's doing a little bit. Ronnie's doing a lot.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Oh, I bet he is.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

Oh, this is dedicated to Michael. This is for your reading pleasures, what it's called. And these are actual book titles. Here we go. They're bizarre books. A collection of weird but true book titles. Okay. I like this one.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Cold Meat and How to Disguise It. It was written in 1904.

unknown 48:12

What?

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Disguise your cold meat.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

Yeah, cold meat and how to disguise it. Well, you know, it would it had a reputation back then. And so you know, you don't want people to know that's what they're eating.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

So you don't have to hide your hot meat, but you have to hide your cold meat. I guess. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

I like this one. Here's one. This is this is originally.

SPEAKER_03 48:33

Michael don't want to touch that.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

This is from 1899. It's called How to Cook Husbands.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

That sounds very interesting.

SPEAKER_04 48:43

Cooking a husband.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

I would love to know how that book goes. I don't want to be a husband at this point. What are you talking about? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

Don't let your wife see that. No, she won't listen to this episode.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Oh, this one's this one's extra dedicated to Michael. Oh. 1885. It's called How to Be Happy Though Married. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

There you go. Okay, Michael, put your ears on. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 49:08

Man, I wish I was married. That would be nice.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

You would lose half your friends. All your single buddies would be like, we can hang out with him no more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

No, the problem is that I'm the single buddy. Oh? Yeah, I'm the I'm the one. The third wheel? More like fifth wheel at this point? Maybe seventh wheel, actually, now that I think about it.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

All your friends got married and you didn't. Yeah. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

I mean, a lot of them have kids now. So have they ever asked you this question? If I was what? No.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

What's wrong with you? That's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 49:42

Because you know, apparently I have to be the I'm the common denominator here. I don't know what the problem is. Oh, yeah. It's everybody else but you. No, that's why I said I'm the common denominator. It's not everybody else. Oh, okay, okay. I missed that one. It's okay, you're dyslexic.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

I know.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

I'm all bad.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Well, you know, I didn't get married till I was 32. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

My dad didn't get married until he was 31. I ain't waiting that long.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

See, oh, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

I'm sorry. I don't want to be I don't want to be old and gray before I get married.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

I got married in my 30s.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Yeah, old and gray.

SPEAKER_03 50:14

But you can dissect it however you want to. You know what? I look younger than you, and you're old, you're younger than me.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

Hey, you look you look like you're almost 50.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

I do not.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

I do not. No, he does not. That's why this isn't a video podcast.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

My 16, 17-year-old son is proud to walk around with me because he's like, you know what? You look really young compared to a lot of other people.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

He does. You look really, really young. Yeah, when you when you don't when you don't have any of the facial hair, you look like, you know, you're you you could pass for like, I don't know, like a 24-year-old. Yeah, he could. That's what my son says. Yeah, you you could pass for like mid-20s, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 50:52

He's like, you look like you're in your 20s. I I don't understand how people uh blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 50:59

Yeah, just you know, don't grow any facial hair and you'll stay that way.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

I don't have any gray hairs or oh no, I'm just saying in general, it just makes you look older.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

That's why I have to, that's why I have to have facial hair. Because if I don't have facial hair, then I look 12.

SPEAKER_03 51:11

So what you what you need to look old for? Well, I don't want to look 12. Well, if you look 12, you might get your girlfriend. Huh?

SPEAKER_01 51:22

What? Wait a second. I don't know. Let's back that up for a second. I don't mean your girlfriend would be 12 years old. Dissect that piece by piece. What?

SPEAKER_03 51:33

That's what you say.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

If if an adult if a girl, if a girl, if a girl might if a girl my age wants me to look like a 12-year-old, that's her problem, not my problem.

SPEAKER_03 51:54

Well, obviously it's your problem because you're the single one.

SPEAKER_02 51:57

Uh oh, you're so naughty. You're right. You're so naughty.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

He's dishing out some stuff over here.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

I gotta ditch it back. The thing is he missed me. No, no, the thing is that if you if you dish it, you have to take it because you have to make it.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

He really missed me, I can tell. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:14

Totally. You know, I'm I'm so glad I came here today.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

So uh have you heard uh have you heard from Ashland in a while? He's East Coast. He's you're living the dad life in East Coast. Is he one of your friends that got married on you?

SPEAKER_01 52:29

No, he was married before I met him, I thought.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

No, no, he was single when he was here. No, you're right, yeah. Not single.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Because I used to work, I used to work with him at my my old job.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

He wasn't married though, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

And then he got married. Yeah, I remember that. You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, because I used to work in my old job and then he he moved away to the east coast, and now he's a dad and everything.

SPEAKER_03 52:51

Yeah, I see his pictures on Instagram and stuff like that, man. It's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

I'm like, man, you go, dude, man. That's proud of it. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I've talked to him a couple times. Shout out Ashlyn. Shout out to Ashlyn. Come back, say hi. He's cool.

SPEAKER_03 53:06

All right, Ray, what else you got? I got another joke or you got something else?

SPEAKER_02 53:10

Well, I got one more Michael dedication. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

I don't know how this happened.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

I didn't even I didn't even know about this. This is a this is the name of a real book from 1880. 141 Ways to Spell Birmingham. See, Michael with his spelling bee stuff, you know, he'd get it right the first time, but some people take 141 times to try it, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

Uh I wonder if that's like a literal title or it's it's meant to be like some sort of reference or something. I don't know. I can't tell. There's like maybe two ways to spell it. Yeah, maybe two ways to spell it, but it has to be some sort of like metaphorical title or some reference to something.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

Yeah, something like that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

Whack you guys want to play Would You Rathers? Ooh, game show segments.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

Yeah, let's do that. Do we get do we get to win prizes? Um Do I get a free cookie or something? Okay, I'll get a free cookie.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Hey, you know what? Sometimes a cookie's all you need.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Would you rather record a song with your favorite artist or direct a movie with your favorite actor? Michael, you're the guest. Go first.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Uh definitely direct uh movie. I'm a film major, so I kind of it kind of goes with the flow. Although I don't like the directing part of it. Um but I'd 100% uh direct a movie with my favorite actor. Now who my favorite actor is is a whole other question because I don't think I have one. So I'd have to pick one.

SPEAKER_03 54:44

Because you generally have to do that to have Yeah, I don't think I have a favorite actor though.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

That's the thing. It's like I just kinda like movies. I don't think I I have a favorite director for sure, but not a favorite actor. What's your favorite director? Christopher Nolan.

SPEAKER_03 54:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

I love Christopher Nolan. And then favorite composer is Han Zimmer. So it kind of works out that they both work together a lot because I get to do, you know, kill two birds with one stone with a lot of those.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

You get enjoying them both together.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

Exactly, exactly. What about you, Ray?

SPEAKER_02 55:13

Well, when I was younger, I thought I wanted to work in movies, but somehow it never happened. So I guess I would like to direct a movie.

SPEAKER_01 55:23

Nice, nice. Do you have a favorite actor?

SPEAKER_02 55:26

Well, at one time it was Michael J. Fox, but then he got old and sick, so that's not so much anymore.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

Dang, it's supposed to be for better or worse. You could ditch him when he got sick.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

And because he got old and sick, you don't like him anymore. No, I still like him.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

It's just it just wouldn't be as much fun.

SPEAKER_03 55:43

This could be a two-way street. I'd be a new host because you're getting old and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

That's why no, no, that's why that's why he invited me on the show, right? I'm I'm being it's like an interview of the new host opposition.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

That's why. For me, I would like to do the record a song with my favorite artist. Now, who's your favorite artist? Uh musically, right now. Or of all time.

SPEAKER_01 56:11

All time, because I thought that was the question.

SPEAKER_03 56:13

Of all time? So they could be dead.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

But then you can't record a song with them.

SPEAKER_03 56:19

Well, that's what I'm saying. So then it couldn't be all time. It'd be for it'd have to be for right now. Sure. Sure. Sure it does. Sure it does. Um for right now. I don't know. The most popular guy that I listen to at this particular point, besides some of my older music that that's you know on my tracks, would be Forrest Frank. I know. It's such an easy one. It's so like played out because everybody but you don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

That's like saying, I like Bethel.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

You don't understand. I was listening to Forrest Frank before anybody. They were like, Okay. Okay. And and I I'm not meaning it in a prideful way, but I put him on the map in my house before my wife, my kids, anybody. They're like, who is this guy? And I'm like, this is Forrest. This was like five years ago. I'm like, this is Forrest. He does collaborations with this guy and that guy. It was like during COVID. And nobody knew who he was. I was listening to Annie Minio and Forrest Springs.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

That's all you gotta do is say, I liked him before he was cool.

SPEAKER_03 57:23

I liked him before he got overplayed. And now it's like every single church uh advertisement, everything. Anything young adults-related, right? Yeah, back when I was playing it in church, I got yelled at by pastors and this and that. You're not supposed to play this in the music. Meanwhile, two, three, four years later, they're playing it on their advertisements for Instagram. And like I got yelled at for that same music that they're playing today, but I played it four years before that.

SPEAKER_01 57:50

Yeah, it's because it's it's a trend thing. They they it's they're messed up. Life is crazy. They don't have consistency when it comes to that, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03 57:58

Nobody uh nobody appreciates futuristic ideas or opinions sometimes. If if everybody on the street plays it, that's what makes it cool. It's like, oh okay, well, that they all they all say it's cool, so I I'm gonna play it.

SPEAKER_01 58:12

And then it's uh and then it's a trend nowadays that lasts for three weeks and then it goes away, and then there's the new thing.

SPEAKER_03 58:17

All right, well, another would you rather because we're sounding old. Yeah, old and sick. All right, let me mix these up. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater?

SPEAKER_01 58:34

Oh, okay. Well, here's the thing though, is we have to ask a clarifying question here, okay? Because at face value, I think fly, but it depends. Like, if I could breathe underwater, like would I be able to would water pressure still be a factor? Because if I could breathe underwater, I'd really like to like explore the deep ocean, right? But you can't do that because your your bones will liquefy. And uh, I don't want that to happen to be. So I think fly because I think you could fly higher.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Your bones could still liquefy if you try to go to space or something. I mean, what do you think happens when you go to space? I'm saying, like you're saying if you go to the bottom of the ocean by yourself, your bones gotta liquefy. But if you go up to space by yourself without a spaceship, what do you think is gonna happen to your bones?

SPEAKER_01 59:22

I'm not saying go to space. I'm thinking I could fly higher than I could dive deep. Okay. So I think I'd fly because I just wanna if if you know if if environmental factors still matter, I I think I'd rather fly. Um you're going green. Yeah. Well no, environmental factors is in I will I will still suffocate, you know, if I go too high. Okay, okay. So I think I I'd rather fly for a share.

SPEAKER_03 59:48

Mr.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Ray. Well, um, I'm gonna be telling some a story about myself. When don't you? This is I think it's embarrassing, but and I've never told this to anybody.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:01

Oh, this is exclusive.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

This is an exclusive.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:04

I've heard it here first, folks.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:06

When I was a child, I read uh Superman comic books, and I always wanted to be Superboy and grow up to be Superman. So uh the flying would be I would like, even though I'm terrified of heights, I'd I guess I'd have to overcome that so I could fly around and be fast like he is.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:24

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:27

So say you were to get your powers today. Where would the first place you would fly to?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

Uh good home to show Linda?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:38

Look, Linda. The nearest armchair.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:42

Uh, that's a good question. Nobody ever asked me that before. Oh, I know. I'd fly to the North Pole. Okay. Because that way I didn't have to worry about freezing and ice and being stuck on a ship and all that. I'd get there real quick.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:56

You know, that's where the penguins go to vote. That's what you told me. Something like that. Yeah, the penguins, they go to the North Pole. Yeah. That went over Mikey's head. Yeah. It was like the Passover. No, he's not listening.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

No, I honestly I kind of checked out there for a second.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:11

I know, you're on your text.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:13

Once you started talking, Jakers, I just kind of zoned out.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:16

I'm gonna edit this whole episode with him out of it. It's just gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:19

I like hearing Ray talk because he's got a nice voice and he tells interesting stories about the 1800s.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

Yeah, see, I was coming to the time machine. That's because I remember those time scenes. I go back that far. He's mean, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:34

I've never had a mean guess. I need one of those eject buttons, so like when we're done with the recording, I can just like and he's gone.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:43

All you do is right-click, you just right-click on my file and click uh remove on my iPad. Oh, yeah, that was control alt-delete. I don't know what program you use.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:52

That was late 1990s, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Anyway. Alright, I'd uh I'd probably I'd probably fly. I think it'd be funner to fly than to breathe underwater. I mean, if I lived in California or somewhere beachy, it wouldn't probably be a harder decision for me. But I live in the desert. Yeah why do I need to breathe underwater? There is no water.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:16

Yeah, the problem too. The problem too is that like if you go to the beach, you go to the ocean, like if you go out far enough to where like you can like you go to the ocean, like there it's just void. There's nothing there. And you're not gonna be able to see because it's gonna be dark. It's not like you're getting it's not like you're getting enhanced, like enhanced vision with your with your breathing underwater. I think it'd be really boring to be able to breathe underwater. I think flight, because with flight, you can you can see so much more cool stuff, right? Yeah, I think I think it'd be so much more if and I'm saying that as a guy who's gone snorkeling like in the Bahamas before, which was really awesome, but I don't think I'd want to go any deeper than that. No, no, thank you. We saw a barracuda, it's pretty cool. Ooh, yeah. It wasn't it wasn't hungry though, good. It had just eaten, so it was fine to go around. Because it will attend.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:03

Oh, you saw the person that ate and everything?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Oh, yeah, the the yeah, the person. The person that ate not quite. It did not be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

Oh, yeah, we didn't need a person. Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:14

No, yeah. That's how that's how the that's how the the cruise lines keep them stated. And any any guest who any guest who gets um rowdy on the cruise ship, they they just chuck them to the barracuda. This could be next. Yeah, yeah. They tell you that before you get on, right? They're like, all right, so if you're rowdy or you cause a drunk disturbance on the cruise ship, you get dumped overboard to the Barracuda fund.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:36

Sometimes they don't need to say it. Some of those cruise lines have a reputation of they left with 25,000 people and they came back with 24,000.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:45

It's those people that don't schedule their returns, you know, you never know.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:49

There's some people that they still looking for on cruise ships that they've never found their body. It's like, how are you still looking for them on a cruise ship? You ever check the ocean? That's that'd probably be a better start than you looking through this cruise ship for two years and you can't find the dead body.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:03

I think it would be easier to find someone on a cruise ship than the ocean, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

Yes, but if you're looking through the cruise ship over and over and over for over any year and you still haven't found the dead body, wouldn't you just start looking somewhere else?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:16

Yeah, that's a fun fact about cruise ships. They have morgs.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:19

They do. Yeah. They also have uh processing machines. They can make some things disappear and turn into nice little fish flakes. Yeah. You're next. No, I love cruises.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:35

I act very well on there, so I can come back. Yeah. Too much soft surf, man. You get soft surf drunk. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:43

I like that uh that strawberry soft serve they have on there. You can never find that anywhere, dude. But you go on that cruise and they got that strawberry soft serve.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

The 24-hour soft serve and the 24-hour pizza is enough for the price of the ticket, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

And the guy's burgers. Have you had those?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:59

I don't know. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:00

Which one? Always Royal Caribbean. Okay. Guy teamed up with Carnival and his $20 burgers that he'd be selling in the airport, like $25 for his burgers. You can go up to the burger station just like the pizza station, get limited guy burgers. Man, I walked away with this platter of like five burgers. I went up to my room and I did some ungodly things with them. I mean, I ate them, obviously. But I've just mean like I just mean like I I was very gluttony and I shouldn't have been. And I'm not a fat guy or nothing, but I put away like five burgers at night.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:37

Honestly, cruise ships, man, they turn you into a whole different person.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:40

You're a beast on board.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:41

Yeah, honestly, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be real. I'm not like much of an experience person when it comes to traveling. And I'm not like touristy at all. If I went on a cruise by myself, I think I'd just stay on the ship the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:54

Um yeah, I did like one or two excursions, but I don't ever like this uh one. Trip that we did, we had like four stops. I got off at all four stops, but I only planned to do something at one of the places. So the other three stops, I just got out, put my feet on the land, looked around at some souvenirs, and then hurried up and got back on the ship because a lot of times things are cheaper on port days. So like if you're in, if you're in, say uh Porto Vallarta and everybody's off the ship, you can go get on the ship, and there's a lot of things that you can do for half price. Like you can get half price uh massages and all these other specialty things are now discounted because half the people are off the ship.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:33

Yeah, exactly. I'm I'm not a touristy guy, like I'm not gonna like I'm going to New York City in August, but like I'm not gonna go to Times Square or anything like that, or like do a Statue Liberty tour or anything like that. I'm like, I'm just gonna be as little touristy as possible.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:47

So yeah, like I would never go to New York for uh first uh what's that called New Year's New Year's Eve.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

Never, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:55

Never you hear those people that they go in there like 12 hours in advance and they're wearing a diaper, and once you go in, you can't go out. And I'm like, for what purpose?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:04

I don't know. Some people just like that stuff. I I'm not I'm not big on tourist things, like I avoid tourist traps, I avoid tourists. I'm just like, I want to come here, I want to do the like one or two very specific things that I care about, and then the rest of it I'm just gonna whatever. I will sleep on the cruise ship, I will sleep in the hotel, I'll enjoy my time because most of the time my vacations are me getting away and just relaxing. So I'm like a getaway and relax, not a getaway and do a bunch of stuff, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:30

Self-sardine yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:31

Yeah, I'm just like, all right, we're gonna relax. So we'll see how that goes. It'll be in August, so it'll be a little bit warm and sticky, but uh shouldn't be too bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:40

This is news of the weird. Isn't all of your news weird? Yeah, it is, but this is this is even weirder than that. Okay. Uh Annette Montoya 11 of Boleyn, New Mexico, and her parents were arrested for forgery after Annette in the company of her father attempted to open a bank account with a $900,000 check. The girl told sheriff's deputies that she earned the money doing some yard work.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:10

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

Nine? During the interrogation, she crossed her heart and said, Hope to die if I'm lying. Oh I think they kind of forgot. No, I I she could work for millionaires and she'd never make that much money doing yard work.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:28

That yeah, that was dumb. How they thought they could get away with it, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:31

Yeah, you have to at least like be slightly believable if you're gonna try to defraud a bank. Uh, it's very hard to do. Uh and coming up with a story like that is a little creaky.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

Yeah, yeah, it is. I like that catch me if you can movie though. Like he wrote the book on how to do that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

Oh yeah, he did, didn't he?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:54

Yeah. Uh Frank Albert Abnell. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. His wife met him.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:01

Yeah, like she worked for their city, and he came down and did like a little seminar teaching them some things, and yeah, she got to sit in and learn some things. It was pretty cool. He told me about it. Oh, yeah. All right, I got one more joke.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:15

Oh, okay. I'm ready. Better be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:17

Your life?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:20

That hurt. Tell us your life story, Jake. Anyway. Jerk.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:32

That's me. A chicken and a turkey were seen fighting. The police came and investigated. They turned you know what they determined, Ray? What did they determine? It was foul play.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

Yeah. Yeah, that was that was good.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:54

You got Ray Pity Points.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:55

Not not hilarious, but it was good. That was pity points. Yeah, that was.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:58

You were starting to laugh. I was I was trying really hard not to let my face like die.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:04

Because you know I'm funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

I know you, I know you try to be.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:08

I don't try. You try. I tried tone back. If if it were possible, yes. And you could say you had brain cancer or something, God forbid.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:17

But say you had brain cancer and they had this new innovative treatment where they could put a transplanted brain in in you.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:27

And so say you're, let's just say that you're 60 years old and you get a 25-year-old brain. He died in a car accident, but he was wearing a helmet, something. Okay, so you get the brain. Do you think that when you get the brain, you would have their thoughts or your thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:47

Oh, you'd have to have the your their thoughts because it would it would be their neural stored. It would be stored in there, and you would lose all who everything about you and who you were and all your memories, and you wouldn't know anybody.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:58

So if you got the brain transplant, you think that would come with the whole personality and everything? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:02

That also opens up the question of like the soul, right? Yeah. Is the brain and the soul command. Because your soul is is who you are on a spiritual level, right? Um, and so like that's a very I mean that's a very interesting question. I don't think it's possible to do a brain transplant.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:20

No, but I've always wondered like if it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:22

Yeah. It's the same concept of like in in Star Trek, right? To use fiction for this, you know, they have these things called the transporters, which can dematerialize you and then rematerialize you somewhere else. It's like, is the person that comes out rematerialized like the same person, right? Like because is the soul there? Yeah. Is it just another body, a different copy of that person, you know, sort of thing? It's like, it's like um it's one of those hypothetical questions that I don't think we'll ever get an answer to. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:49

I know that somebody I know that some people have attempted it because I've watched one of those programs on the National Geographics or History or whatever, one of those channels, and they had this doctor, and he actually did this experiment where he had two dogs, and he chopped off both of their heads while he put them to sleep, and he swapped heads. The one dog died instantly, the other dog lived like three, four days, and so he kept trying to do it again, so he did it with a monkey and this and that. And so I'm sure it's possible at some point if they did it absolutely perfect. Not saying that I mean I'm I'm a I'm a believing guy, so I don't think that some things like that should even be attempted, but that doesn't stop people from doing it. So that's what I'm saying is like I'm sure that if they've already tried to do it with dogs and monkeys and stuff like that, I wonder who has donated their body to who after life and who has tried to attempt to make things happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:58

Who knows? That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:02

But it's a question like would you have your brain or your thoughts or somebody else's? You'd have somebody else's.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:08

I mean, because it's their neural, I mean, because you kind of form your uh with with your life experiences and your memories, you form your neural pathways in your brain. Everyone's brain is where stored, yeah. Differently, yeah. So if you swap them, it's not yours anymore. Yeah, it's someone else's.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:23

Yeah, it's almost like cloning. You you become the other person, but the eyes would be different.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:27

Like you you can't transplant. Yeah, you would look different, though you you would look different, but your eyes are still connected to the brain. And so even though you have somebody else's eyes, it's just like looking through another camera.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:38

Exactly. It's like something like that, you know. Like they've done in like organ transplants, like you know, liver transplants, heart transplants, kidney transplants. It's like, sure, yeah, I mean, you're you're you're not you're not dealing with uh an issue of this is the organ that controls the entire rest of me as a as a being.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:56

No, there's not there's not a memory there really. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:59

And like I said, you know, you're you're you form neural pathways as you experience things and as you see things and you hear things and you do things, and everyone's brain map is is different. It's like you have you know, DNA is basically the same, but your brain is different.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:13

So it's yeah, it's just a thought that you know over the years I've thought of and I found it fascinating. No, but everybody always gives a different answer. Some people even refuse to answer that like, oh, there's no way that's gonna happen, blah, blah, blah, blah. So they they don't even want to entertain it. But the the fact that it possibly in our day and age could happen. I mean, they got robots to do anything and everything nowadays, so you just never know.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:36

Eventually, like microsurgery might be at the point where it can. It's just the problem is that it's so complex because there's so much nerves. There's so much that goes into the brain and comes out of the brain that it's basically impossible to have an undamaged brain go into another undamaged person's head kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:54

And once the brain's dead, usually you're dead because it controls everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:57

So exactly. Once the brain dies, the brain dies. That's why brain death is a thing, you know. So yeah, it's one of those that's very interesting, but yeah, I I don't think I don't think you would be the same person. I think it would be some like at best, I think it would be two clashing personalities. At best. At worst, you just uh lose your mind and and die.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:24

Would it be like the equivalent of what we're seeing in Hollywood right now where they think half of these celebrities are cloned?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:30

Oh, yeah. Jim Carrey is not Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:36

Oh, lizard people, yeah. I see him in the lizard people in the government. He's that host on America. Never mind. Only in America. All right, Michael. We love to ask everybody the signature question on the show. If you got to uh ask God, you know, a question, what was one of the first questions you would ask him?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:59

The first question that I would ask God specifically. That's a good one. Um probably why uh he even bothered um creating what like in the sense of like I mean, he didn't need us. We didn't need to exist um as humans or as Earth or whatnot. Um you know, what was the original thought process behind making humanity, especially knowing how it would turn out from start to finish? Like why? I think is would be a good question. Because that would be something, I mean, like, because I feel like a lot of the quote unquote questions you have for for God, you figure out we'll figure a lot of them out eventually, you know, while we're dealing with it for eternity, right? But that's when you can't just infer. Um I I wonder I always wonder why. I always wonder why. Like, like what was the initial, like, hey, you know what I'm gonna do today? I'm gonna make people, you know? Like what was the reasoning behind that? That would be a very I'm sure he has a plan. Oh, I'm not even talking about uh plans in general. I'm just I'm just thinking of why, like, initially. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:24

Well, you initially do something because you have a plan, so I'm saying that even though we don't understand it or see it, or it's not within our reach at this moment.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:31

Yeah. Especially since we're not like necessary for God's existence in general.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:36

You're necessary, Michael.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:38

You know what I mean. You're so necessary. No, you know what I mean. You know what I mean. Don't hit me with that. Yeah. All right, Mikey. That's that's the question. Answer to the question. That's the answer to the question. All right, Mike.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:54

Michael, Mikey, Michaelist. All right, Michael. This is your guest spotlight. Take 30 seconds-ish to plug whatever you want. Your company, adventures, uh, your tinder page for a girlfriend. Whatever you want, family, friends, any shout-outs, whatever the world needs to know that you haven't dropped on them yet. The mic is yours. Go for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:22

I think that people underestimate the importance of good lumbar support. Uh, I think that people don't realize that uh your back is going to carry you through the rest of your life, and having a bad back, you can avoid. If um, when you sit, you have good posture, and you have a chair with really nice lumbar support, which is why I like getting those mid-back chairs, not the super tall ones, but the ones that are small enough, and you get this really nice adjustable lumbar support on your back, and you're able to, you know, adjust it to make it to make it fit you as a person because you know that feels so much better, and you you you lose, you you don't lose posture, you don't lose uh you don't you don't you don't have back nerve pinching or back issues. So I think people underestimate the uh good lumbar support. And I think uh if I had to plug one thing, it would be everyone needs a chair with really good lumbar support and not some cheap garbage. You need to get a chair that fits you, you need to get a chair that's going to save you a lot of time and trouble and medical bills later in your life because your lower back will thank you. And in essence, once your lower back thanks you, your hips thank you, your legs thank you, your upper back thanks you, your neck thanks you. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:30

Oh my God. We've never had a response like that before. This is one of the kind.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:37

Medication, what in the world is wrong? That's what you're gonna use your free time on.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

Absolutely. No wonder why you're single. I pre-planned that, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:45

Oh, I like that. No wonder why you're single. No wonder.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:48

Now I know. I mean, it all makes sense. You guys don't under you guys, you guys don't get the like the the benefits of good lumbar support?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:57

Yeah, you need to marry a back doctor. That's what it sounds like. You're so um obsessed with lumbar support. I mean, you need to marry a lumbar doctor.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:10

She'll have your back. Okay, that was pretty good. That was pretty good. I'll give you that one. You get one, you get one today, Jakey. You get one. I leveled up. Gold star for Jemichel over there.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:26

Jemichael.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:29

It's time for you to go.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:32

Well, folks, that's all for this episode 33, Triangular Logic. Huge thanks to our guest Michael. Next week on episode 34, we have another great episode coming your way. It will be fun. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:46

Hey y'all, if you've been enjoying the program and want to dig a little deeper, we've got you covered. You can always find us worldwide on platforms such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, and be all. Just search Unfit for Radio with me, Jake Hurst. And hey, if you're really enjoying the show, take about 10 seconds and drop us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're enjoying us. A lot of listeners have already done it on some of those places, and we really appreciate it. It helps people discover us. And uh yeah, just go do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:25

Folks, Unfit for Radio is an independent, self-funded podcast powered by us and people like you, our listeners. If you believe in what we're building and want to help keep the mics hot, visit unfitforradio.bussprout.com to donate. Every contribution and subscription helps our radio community grow stronger together. We really appreciate the support. Thank you all so much. Thank you for having me. We're glad you were here. You can always send in your questions, comments, and suggestions. Or if you are interested in being a guest, like Michael, email us unfitforradio show at gmail.com. Or send us a text at 602 767 3390. And we might just read it next episode. Remember the show on Instagram, Unfit for Radio. The credits for this episode belong to executive producer Jakers. He's sitting right over there looking at him. Contributors, Michael and Ray, recorded by Jakers. Master and UFR music by Ronald L. Jones on Instagram at Ronnie Cash Alike. He just dropped a new song for the summertime.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:41

You guys should go check that out. Michael, it wasn't so bad being here, was it? Would you consider coming back in the future and insulting the host again?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:49

Absolutely, it's one of my favorite things to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:51

You know how it was back in the day. I'll do it again. Please remember if you can't find the good, like I'm feeling right now, I'm just gonna be the good. Love y'all. Later. Until next time.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:05

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:06

Peace out. See ya. Get out of here, Michael.