UNFIT FOR RADIO with JAYKERS
UNFIT FOR RADIO with JAYKERS is an independent comedy podcast where unfiltered conversations, unpredictable humor, authentic storytelling, and real-life moments collide. Hosted by JAYKERS alongside recurring co-host RAY, special guests, and the extended UFR family, every episode delivers a unique mix of comedy, candid discussions, spontaneous conversations, and the kind of entertainment traditional radio simply can’t offer.
From laugh-out-loud stories and outrageous debates to meaningful interviews and honest conversations, no topic is off limits. Episodes explore relationships, faith, mental health, music, pop culture, health and wellness, internet culture, paranormal experiences, current events, creativity, personal growth, and the unexpected moments that turn into unforgettable conversations. Whether it’s a hilarious game of Would You Rather, a controversial hot take, or an emotional personal story, listeners never know where the conversation will go next.
Known for its personality-driven format, genuine chemistry, and unscripted style, UNFIT FOR RADIO with JAYKERS has built a loyal international audience by staying authentic, relatable, and unapologetically independent. Every episode feels less like a polished corporate production and more like hanging out with friends—sharing stories, laughing together, asking big questions, and talking about the things everyone thinks but few people actually say out loud.
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UNFIT FOR RADIO with JAYKERS
“Missing Marbles”
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EP.44: “MISSING MARBLES” (FEAT. RAY)
Apparently, JAYKERS and RAY are getting famous…
On Episode 44 of Unfit For Radio with JAYKERS, RAY is back alongside JAYKERS for another unpredictable episode filled with comedy, stories, jokes, random observations, and plenty of classic UFR banter.
RAY kicks things off with a fresh batch of RAY FACTS, while JAYKERS brings his usual jokes, reactions, and attempts to catch RAY off guard. RAY also creates an original UFR Limerick live on the show.
The episode continues with two classic UFR games, Would You Rather and I Should Have Known That, along with JAYKERS making another outlandish statement and challenging the audience to fact-check him.
But this episode also puts the audience to work. JAYKERS and RAY challenge listeners to email the show with at least 10 responses. If they reach the goal, the audience will help generate a future UFR segment where JAYKERS and RAY visit a haunted location and share their experiences. Participate at UnfitForRadioShow@gmail.com
So, will RAY keep his marbles? Probably not..
IN THIS EPISODE:
• Fresh RAY FACTS & stories.
• RAY creates an original UFR Limerick live on air
• JAYKERS delivers jokes and unexpected commentary
• Classic JAYKERS & RAY banter
• JAYKERS’ latest outlandish statement
• Audience fact-checking challenge
• Audience participation & the 10-response challenge
• A future haunted location adventure
• Would You Rather
• I Should Have Known That
• Random observations and unexpected UFR moments
• And, of course… RAY loses his marbles
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING UFR
Thanks to you, Unfit For Radio with JAYKERS continues to reach listeners around the world, now reaching 50+ countries, 200+ U.S. cities, and 6 continents.
If you enjoyed this episode, follow, rate, and review Unfit For Radio with JAYKERS on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. Every follow, rating, and review helps new listeners discover the show and helps us continue doing what we do.
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Keywords: Unfit For Radio with JAYKERS | comedy podcast | funny podcast | unfiltered podcast | conversation podcast | funny conversations | comedy and conversation | Would You Rather | I Should Have Known That | RAY Facts | podcast games | audience participation | haunted locations | random observations | UFRPODCAST
You know how we're getting pretty famous now. I had to install one of those new high voltage electric fences around my property over the weekend. Oh, that's intense. I bet the results were electrified.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. My neighbor was dead against it. Well, I'd say that relationship is no longer conductive. Looks like you're getting new neighbors. Hostile neighbor. Deuces.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Unfit Ver Radio with Jakers, that famous blonde Polish dyslexia guy. Wait a minute. That's me.
SPEAKER_01And I am Ray, Jaker, sidekick and senior star of the UFR family, and I'm still older than Dird.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_0123 and me verified it the other day. Let's do it! On this episode, we've got stories, jokes, and all the random odds and ends you've come to expect from us. You know how we roll, and to kick things off, I've got a fresh batch of Ray Facts that have been sitting up on my desk all off season. Welcome to Missing Marbles.
SPEAKER_02You did it. Welcome everybody. What are we gonna cover first? We gotta cover some jokes, we gotta cover stories. I got something for you. You know, okay. I'm thinking, you know, I'm thinking my wife is a ghost, right? What? What happened? I had my suspicions when she walked through the door.
SPEAKER_01Oh no. That was good. That was good. All right, hit us with a story. Okay. I've got all sorts of things here spread out in front of me. Oh, that's you want to start with dumb crooks. Might as well start with dumb crooks. I don't know a smart crook yet. Oh, that's true. They're undercover.
SPEAKER_04Horror politicians.
SPEAKER_01Okay. This was in Syracuse, New York. In 1992, Philip S. Whaley Sr. was captured and charged with grand larceny and other crimes after a 28-minute chase involving numerous route changes. He thought he was getting away with it. Wow. For all 28 minutes, Whaley signaled every single turn, every single turn that he made, said an officer. We knew exactly where he was going. Wow. Now who does that?
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he was dumb. Oh, here's one that's even dumber than that. Oh, it gets dumber? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02There's is there thicknesses like it gets thicker and thicker?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it must be. Okay. Dumber and dumber or something. Isn't there a money a movie like that? Oh, yeah, when Jim Carrey was the original. Yeah. This happened in Grapevine, Texas. In 1993, 20-year-old David Bridges stole a television set so he could watch the Dallas Cowboys. Oh. He was arrested when he went back a second time to get the remote control. Ding dong. Yeah. Oh dear. Okay, this happened in Panama City, Florida. Brandon Lamont Dawson 20 was captured after police found a pager he'd left in his car following a homicide, traced it to Dawson, called him on the phone, and asked him to come to retrieve the device. He was arrested when he walked into the Panama City police station.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_01Oh my. He didn't think very well, did he?
SPEAKER_02He didn't think at all. Hey, how can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in outer space?
SPEAKER_01See, a hamburger grilled in outer space? I have no idea. It's a little meatier. Oh, cute. Cute. I like that one. You got another one or are you going to save it for later? Save it for later.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I'll I'll hit him as as we go.
SPEAKER_01As we go along. Okay. A man charged with auto theft came to court in, of all things, a stolen car. Tony Bright appeared in court Friday like he was supposed to, then left with two companions after his preliminary hearing. A detective followed Bright outside, then watched as the three got into a new Volvo with New York license plates. Suspicious, detective Gary Nelson ran a check on the plates and was told they belonged to a Mercedes. The Volvo had been stolen the day before from a Virginia dealership. Nelson followed the Volvo into a convenience store parking lot across the street from Virginia Beach's first precinct. All three were arrested peacefully. Aw, how sweet. Yeah, how isn't that nice? Dummies. Let's see. Oh, here's something interesting. Famous tightwads. You know what a tightwad is. Somebody that's real skimpy with their money, you know. Like you? Yeah, like me. No, don't say that. No. Yeah, I know. So these are famous tight wads and what they were like. Some of these names you'll know, and some of them you might not know, depending on Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Let's check it out.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Give it a spin.
SPEAKER_01John D. Rockefeller, founder of Standard Oil. I know. Okay. He gave a groundskeeper a $5 Christmas bonus. Ooh. Then he docked it from the man's pay when he took Christmas Day off to spend with his family. Now, isn't that horrible? My God. He wanted him to work on the greed. Yeah. My goodness. Greedy, greedy, greedy, greedy. Oh, here's one. You know Walt Disney, of course. Yeah. He timed employees' trips to candy and soda machines.
SPEAKER_02Huh? That's horrible.
SPEAKER_01Because you can't take too much time off work, you know.
SPEAKER_02You gotta I thought it was the happiest place on earth. That don't sound very happy for the No, not for that, does it? And then you also mentioned that other story a while back about the costume workers had to share underwear and finally l won a legal battle to wear their own underwear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that that never should have been a problem in the first place. That was gross. That was dumb.
SPEAKER_02It was a mix-up, and people were sharing and it wasn't being washed. Yeah. Oh, I'm so gross.
SPEAKER_01Well, they were being washed.
SPEAKER_02It's so gross right now, just thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, never mind. Anyway. Paul Volcker, I remember that name, he was chairman of the Federal Reserve Board back when. Rather than pay for a laundromat, he packed dirty laundry into a suitcase every week and drove it to his daughter's house. Here, I'm here. Do my laundry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he saved a lot of money.
SPEAKER_01Oh, Calvin Coolidge, U.S. president. He personally oversaw and approved all White House expenditures. Reportedly bought food for state dinners at the local Piggly Wiggly. He didn't even let his chef or whoever was in charge of the kitchen order the food. He went out and bought it personally to save money.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_01Arthur Fiedler, conductor of the Boston Pops. I remember him well. Rather than repair the holes in the walls of his home, he stuffed them with moldering bits of carpet. Okay, that's real good. He was also famous for skipping out on the tab when dining with his musicians.
SPEAKER_02Oh, dine and ditch with the musicians?
SPEAKER_01And he got paid, I'm sure, a lot more than they did, and he he ditched out.
SPEAKER_02That's terrible.
SPEAKER_01I know, isn't that bad? That's horrible. Mm-hmm. What is purple but doesn't weigh as heavy?
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_01Purple, but doesn't weigh as heavy?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's purple, but it doesn't weigh as heavy.
SPEAKER_01I have no idea. Light purple.
unknownLight purple.
SPEAKER_01Oh. And and I and being a lighting guy, I like purple lights. So, okay. I don't know if there's a relationship there or not.
SPEAKER_04Was that a digital eye roll that you just gave me?
SPEAKER_01Yes, it was. Yeah. That was good. All right. Carry on. Okay. Would you like to know the beginnings of stewardesses on planes?
SPEAKER_02Aren't they called flight attendants now? I thought stewardess was like a little controversial.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was. That was way back when they only had women. You know, when when it started back in 1930.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Before 1930, only men served on airplane crews. I did not know that. Yes, only men did.
SPEAKER_02It was a men thing before women?
SPEAKER_01It was. I didn't know that. Then Ellen Church, a nurse and student pilot, convinced United Airlines that having females on board would help ticket sales. But not for the reason you'd think. Don't you think it would be good psychology to have women up in the air? She asked the directors. How is a man going to say he is afraid to fly when a woman is working on the plane? United agreed and told her to hire seven women. The women had to be under five foot four and 115 pounds. Sound sexist? Yes, age 25 or less. Single and registered nurses. Wait, what? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Why single? I get the registered nurse because that could actually be beneficial in case of an emergency.
SPEAKER_01I don't know why single in case the plane crashes. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. That was a good one. That was really, really oh, that was a safe answer. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Oh my god. Their wage, $125 a month for each 100 hours in the air. Wow, so they got just over a dollar an hour.
SPEAKER_03They got stiffed.
SPEAKER_01On no, that's what happens when you bury a body. You get stiffed or something. I don't know. I'm confused. You're confusing me. Anyway. Okay. On top of serving passengers, the first stewardesses also had to help the crew clean the plane, load the baggage, gas the plane, and push it from the hangar.
SPEAKER_02For $25 a month?
SPEAKER_01$125.
SPEAKER_02What $125?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. That's a little bit better in those days.
SPEAKER_01But still, they had to do all that work. That's what you got the ground crew for.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh well. Here's the story of the square handkerchief.
SPEAKER_02Is it most handkerchief squares?
SPEAKER_01Yes, they are now. Among her many eccentricities, Marie Antoinette hated the fact that handkerchiefs came in so many sizes and shapes. She decided she liked the square ones the best. And in 1785, she had her husband Louis XVI issue a law that henceforth the length of a handkerchief shall equal their width throughout my entire kingdom. So non-square handkerchiefs have been hard to find ever since, because Marie Antoinette only wanted square ones.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know there was such a thing as a handkerchief hater.
SPEAKER_01No, I didn't either, and I didn't know they came in different sizes or shapes besides square. That's all I've ever seen. So what do I know?
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh, I like this one. This is called Making His Mark. This is about Mark Twain, the famous author and humorist.
SPEAKER_02The famous Twain.
SPEAKER_01He's also a great philosopher, too, I guess. You guess. Here's examples of his philosophy. All right. Okay. There's a lot of them. I may not read them all, but uh a banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02That's true.
SPEAKER_01Oh, oh, here's one. That you know, this you know how I have to have bathroom stuff. This sort of goes along with that. Oh my god. Ready? Yep. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Well, they don't. When was the last time you ever paid attention to a naked person? I never did.
SPEAKER_02That's a trick question. I'm not sure. I'm a married man. Does that I mean I I I I pay attention to my wife all the time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guess we can't go there. Okay. If you oh here's since you got a dog, here's one about a dog.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I just got a puppy, too.
SPEAKER_01If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Huh? Make a starving dog and make him prosperous, he won't bite you. But a man will bite you. You make him prosperous, he will bite you back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What do politicians and baby diapers have in common?
SPEAKER_01Oh heavens. They're both full of it. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, pretty darn close.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02They're both full of it and should be changed often.
SPEAKER_01Yes, they should be changed often. They should be. Yes. Some people hang around for far far more. Like dingleberries.
SPEAKER_02They hang around a little too long.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. Oh, I like this one. He Mark Twain also said it usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Uh-huh. And I often wonder where our great speakers today would be if they didn't have their speech writers. Oh, yeah. You know, in the olden days, people wrote their own speeches, but now they got somebody to do it.
SPEAKER_02I think that that should be like uh, you know how when you watch a commercial and it has to say like paid actor underneath, or if it's a real testimonial. I think at the end of every single speech, uh instead of them saying, you know, I approve this message, it should be like, and so-and-so wrote this message.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Hey, I like that idea.
SPEAKER_02The person would get more credit and then we would know who's actually the mouthpiece and whatnot.
SPEAKER_01But that's true. Hey, talking about uh Congress. Talking about Congress, here's one. All right. There is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress. I know some people would think that.
SPEAKER_02You know, if you're you know, if you're in your kitchen and you're American. Yes. What are you in your bathroom?
SPEAKER_01Wait, if you're in your kitchen and you're American, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02European.
SPEAKER_01Oh. That I like that one. I'm surprised you brought that one.
SPEAKER_02Hey, that one, you want to do your bathroom here. I have one for that too.
SPEAKER_01This one is called Myth America. Myth, as in a story, you know. Oh, that you were saying. Yeah, no. Okay. Not true. The myth. Cowboys talk like cowboys. They said things like, get along, little doggies, and I've got an itch and trigger finger. Okay?
SPEAKER_05They didn't say that.
SPEAKER_01The truth. A lot of the words associated with cowboys were invented by novelists and movie script writers, and not until long after the age of the cowboy had passed. Motherless calves were not called doggies until 1903. Jails didn't become hooscows until 1920.
SPEAKER_02I still don't understand that.
SPEAKER_01And the expressions bounty hunter, gunslinger, and I've got an itchy trigger finger were all invented in Hollywood.
SPEAKER_02I got an itchy trigger finger. You can turn that into a song almost.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, hey, we could we maybe we could ask Ronnie to work on that. What do you call a pony with a cough? Pony with a cough? I have no idea. A little horse. Oh, that's cute. That's cute. Yeah, I like those miniature horses. They're yeah, you can bring those in your house and yeah, they'll live with you real nice. Oh, here's another myth about the West. Wagon trains traveled in straight single file lines across the prairies. No, they didn't. The truth, the trip across much of America was so dusty that whenever possible, wagons fanned out into an advancing line up to ten miles wide to avoid each other's dust and the ruts of earlier travelers. Can you imagine? They needed windshields back then. Yeah, they needed something. I I could not imagine. You know, you see the TV shows and it looks kind of romantic and everything, but it's not anything like that.
SPEAKER_02No, it wasn't. Riding in that buggy with no AC. Uh-uh.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02That's a sweat losh. That's when a true sauna was made.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, true.
SPEAKER_02True.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They were um yeah. No air conditioning, no ice, no anything to cool you down. I can't imagine. And all that dust. All I heard was no no no. No, no, no. Is that a song? I'm not sure. Oh, that's not a song. Okay. Here's a story about a uh song that became famous. And it wasn't supposed to be. Ooh. Songs. Okay. And you might even remember know this one for a change. I mean, I I know it, so you might know it.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Sing it to me. Let the sun shine in and age of Aquarius by the Fifth Dimension. Oh? You don't know that one? No. Oh, honestly, everybody does. The Hit Musical Hare. If I heard it, I might recognize it. Oh, I'm sure you would. Okay. The Hit Musical Hair had been on Broadway for about a year when the vocal group, the Fifth Dimension, arrived in New York City to perform at the Americana Hotel in 1969. See, it's a little bit before your time, that's why. I see here's the serendipity. Billy Davis of the group lost his wallet in a cab. He didn't know where he'd lost it, but a gentleman called and said he'd found it and wanted to return it. Billy was grateful, but the man didn't want a reward. He just said, I would like you to come up and see a play that I produced. Well, as it happens, he was the producer of the play Hare, and as we were sitting there listening to Aquarius, we all looked at each other and said, This is a song we've got to record. It's just great. They took the song to their producer who suggested that they combine it with Let the Sunshine In. They recorded it in Las Vegas where they were performing. It was the quickest thing we ever recorded, and it was our biggest hit. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. Hey, hey, what kind of computer sings the best?
SPEAKER_01What kind of computer sings the best? Um, I have no idea what. Adele. Oh, that's cute. We talked about Adele one time on a previous episode, and I said I didn't know who she was.
SPEAKER_02Anyways.
SPEAKER_01Anyways. Hello from the other side. Do you want to hear about what's for breakfast?
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_01This one's a little longer, but that's okay.
SPEAKER_02Grilled cheese sandwich? I got one of those jokes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I have I had grilled cheese for breakfast the other day. I really did. That wasn't that was this past week. Oh well, any anyway. All right. Um, we always take for granted that the foods we eat for breakfast have always been around, but they haven't. Here's the history of five foods that we've come to expect on the table in the morning. Expectations. Yeah, expectations.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Waffles. Introduced to the United States by Thomas Jefferson, who brought the first waffle iron over from France. They didn't come from Belgium? No, not Belgian waffle. What do you know? The name comes from the Dutch waffle, W-A-F-E-L. Waffles owe much of their early popularity to street vendors who sold them hot, covered in molasses or maple syrup. It wasn't until the 20th century that the electric griddle iron made them an American staple. Wow. So we had to wait for the invention of the waffle iron.
SPEAKER_02And then I wonder when they turned into like actual waffle ice cream cones.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I wonder who did that. It hasn't been too long. Hmm.
unknownWaffle.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Oh, here's something I think you like. English muffins? You like you eat English muffins, don't you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right. With the what's those called? The cur what's those called? The granny. What's those? The little thingies in the crannies. Yeah, the crannies. Yeah, they got the crannies.
SPEAKER_01That's a whole different muffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No boy. In 1875, Samuel Thomas moved to America from England, bringing with him his mother's recipe for tea muffins. He started out baking them in New York in 1880. In 1926, he officially named them Thomas's English Muffins. Oh, those are still around. Yeah, so his name was Thomas. He came from England, so I guess they're really muffins.
SPEAKER_02What do you put on a lonely grilled cheese sandwich?
SPEAKER_01Uh, let's see. Cheese lonely grilled cheese sandwich. I don't know. What do you add to it? Provolone. Pro. Oh, provolone. Oh dear. Yes. Don't you feel sorry for the sandwich now? It's all alone.
SPEAKER_02Provalone.
SPEAKER_01You have to make two so that it's not alone anymore.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Only on Tuesday.
SPEAKER_01French toast. You want to know where French toast comes from?
SPEAKER_02Probably not France, like the fries.
SPEAKER_01It really does have its origins in France. What do you know? No way. Yeah. It's n it's got two names. If I I don't know French very well, but it's called Ammeridi M A M E R I T T E. You're murdering it. I know. Or Pain Perdue, which means lost bread. I I can read that.
SPEAKER_05Cool.
SPEAKER_01A term that has persisted in Creole and Cajun cooking. Throughout its history in America, it has been referred to as Spanish, German, or nuns toast. Its first appearance in print as French toast was in 1871.
SPEAKER_02Wow. We've been eating toast that's 200 years old.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it had other names. Spanish, German, and Nun. What do you know? Like N-U-N, like the Like the Catholic nun? The Catholic nun. What do you know? I bet that had none taste. None taste? Yes, it had taste.
SPEAKER_04What did it taste like?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. None. No, it had syrup on it. It's got to be good. And they didn't say they put butter on it, but I'm sure we put butter on it.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02I'll take your word for it. You're probably close around that time.
SPEAKER_01Okay. It was about grape juice, how we got grape juice.
SPEAKER_02Didn't we get it from grapes?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but this is the guy that invented it.
SPEAKER_02I thought Jesus invented it. Didn't he turn the wine? He did the wine thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but yeah, I know they had grape juice back then, but anyways. This is how it came to breakfast, I guess. All right. In 1869, Dr. Thomas Welsh, Christian, dentist, and prohibit prohibitionist invented unfermented wine. Grape juice, so that fellow teetotalers would not be forced into the contradiction, as he saw it, of drinking alcohol in church. Ha ha I guess he didn't like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because a lot of people uh think that you know you either should or shouldn't consume the alcohol from the communion. It's like Yeah. Isn't there a isn't there a Bible verse that says you're supposed to be of a sober mind? I mean, I don't know. Something like that. I don't know what that means.
SPEAKER_01So local pastors weren't interested, so he gave up and went back to pulling teeth. His son Charles began selling it as grape juice in 1875. So he couldn't interest the the ministers in that after all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Here's one pancakes. When the first European settlers landed in the New World, they brought pancakes with them. They met Native Americans who made their own pancakes called, I can't pronounce it, N-O-K-E-H-I-C, no chaic. Even uh the ancient Egyptians had pancakes. In fact, it's difficult to think of a culture that didn't have pancakes of one kind or another. The first ready-made pancake mix came in 1889 when two men in St. Joseph, Missouri introduced self-rising pancake flour. They named it Aunt Jemima after a song from a minstrel show.
SPEAKER_05Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01So it wasn't named after a real person, it was just named after a song, which I did not know.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh, that's a weird story. That is a weird story. What happens when you slap someone in a high frequency? Slap someone in a high frequency?
SPEAKER_01I don't know what. It megahertz. Oh, you'd have to know audio to understand that one. That's funny. Megahertz. I like that one. Yeah, yeah, megahertz.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I got another interesting story here. All right. Um, this is called an urban legend. An urban legend is a story that keeps going around and around for years and years and years, and it's not true. But people think it is because they've heard it so many times. So here's an urban legend. I've got some more I'm going to bring in, but I haven't gotten to those yet. All right. Firefighters cleaning up the scene of a California forest fire are shocked to find the charred remains of a scuba diver hanging from the limbs of a burnt tree. What?
SPEAKER_02How'd the scuba diver get in a wow?
SPEAKER_01What? That's the story. An autopsy reveals that the cause of death was massive internal injury sustained from a fall. So that means he fell from the sky. Tornado? An investigation reveals that he was driving diving off a nearby coast on the day of the fire and was scooped into the bucket of seawater being carried by a firefighting helicopter. No way! Okay, the facts. That was the story. Now this now the facts, the true part.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01The story which sometimes involves a fisherman still clutching the fishing pole has been around since at least 1987. It falls into one of the most popular urban legend categories of what a stupid, unusual way to die. It's even popular in France, which has also been cited as the location of the incident. So that's not a true story, but it keeps making the rounds because it's so crazy. Oh my gosh. I know, isn't that something? Now I've got a an urban legend that turns out to be true. Oh. Okay. The story. After playing a round of golf, a man with the habit of chewing his golf tea between holes complains he isn't feeling well. He checks into a hospital and a few days later he dies.
SPEAKER_02Oh no. What? You have tea poisoning?
SPEAKER_01An autop well, I I don't know what kind of poisoning.
SPEAKER_02Well, he was chewing on his tea the last thing.
SPEAKER_01That must be.
SPEAKER_02But the autopsy you're saying yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, an autopsy reveals that insecticide from the golf course tainted the tea he was chewing and poisoned him. So you were right. The facts. He did. But this is actually a true story. In 1982, Navy Lieutenant George M. Pryor played two rounds of golf at the Army Navy Country Club in Arlington, Virginia. By the time he finished, he was complaining of a headache. That night he checked into the hospital with nausea, fever, and a severe rash. He died ten days later. An autopsy determined that he had died from an extreme allergic reaction to the pesticide used on the golf course. Oh no, that's terrible. Yeah, and that was a true an urban legend that turned out to be true. Wow. Hmm.
SPEAKER_02What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
SPEAKER_01Vampire's favorite fruit. Um can't think of one. What?
SPEAKER_03Nectarine.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's cute. Hey, I got a story about a vampire.
SPEAKER_02And a nectarine or just the vampire?
SPEAKER_01Just the vampire.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I have a big orange cat, and he likes to play vampire.
SPEAKER_02Named Garfield?
SPEAKER_01No. Oh, okay. No, this is his name's Dad. We've talked about him before. Yeah, I know. And um, he likes to there's a black cat, big black cat, he likes to bite on the neck, and he makes yeah, and then there's this he b he bites another one too, but I forget which one that is. Ouch. Yeah, he likes to go and bite him on the neck and and be a play vampire, but the the the the black one doesn't like it.
SPEAKER_02How do mice floss their teeth?
SPEAKER_01Mice floss their teeth with I don't know how. String teeth. Oh, hey, that's cute. Yeah, I bet they do, don't you think? Uh could you see it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I could see that. Running from the cat and then running over to the mirror and flosses teeth and running away from the cat.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be funny. That makes sense. You wear Converse shoes, don't you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So here's the brand name about it. Named for Marquis M. Converse, who founded the Converse Rubber Company in 1908. He introduced the canvas-topped All-Star, one of the world's first basketball shoes, in 1917. So your shoes are over a hundred years old.
SPEAKER_02I don't know how they played basketball in those things. Today you caught me on a rare day. I'm wearing some Air Jordans.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_01Well, you don't think they played basketball in Converse? They used to all the time.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm saying they did. Uh they used to be a basketball shoe, but I'm saying I don't know how they played because they're uh in that type of shoe that they had back then, it would be a very uncomfortable way of playing compared to what we have nowadays. Oh, yeah, compared to what we have to do. I was thinking about possible injuries and whatnot that had just from wearing that shoe, potentially. But anyway, that's just my adult thinking.
SPEAKER_01Okay, here's one. You've heard of Levi jeans.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is called Lee Jeans. You've heard you've heard that brand. L E E.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01At the turn of the century, Henry D. Lee was one of the Midwest's biggest wholesalers of groceries, work clothes, and other items.
SPEAKER_02No way.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. In 1911, because he wasn't getting shipments of work clothes on time, he decided to build his own factory. In 1924, he started making jeans for cowboys. In 1926, Lee's made the first jeans with zippers. They made zippers before Levi? I don't know. I think so. I think Levi used the buttons for quite a while before they went to the zipper kind.
SPEAKER_02I like the uh the Dickies too. The Dickies are good work pants.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, I've never I've seen those, but I've never had those.
SPEAKER_02What country is growing the fastest in the world?
SPEAKER_01What country is growing the fastest? Um I don't know. I don't know whose population is increasing. Who is that?
SPEAKER_02Ireland. It's Dublin. Dublin.
SPEAKER_01By the every day, every year? Boy, that would be a lot. If you doubled every day, that would I don't know.
SPEAKER_02The whole city. It's Dublin.
SPEAKER_01You'd run out of uh you'd run out of room. Hey, I got some more dumb criminals. I don't know where I find all this stuff, but anyway.
SPEAKER_02The newspaper.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't know. They don't make those, neither do they. Okay. Here's one. This this this'll make you sick. Okay. It might. Well, thanks. It just might make you sick. This happened in Seattle. Police got an early morning call from the owners of a motorhome parked on a Seattle street. When officers arrived, they found sewage in what looked like vomit on the ground. Nearby they found a man curled up ill next to the car. The man admitted he had been trying to siphon gas and had plugged his hose into the motorhome sewage tank by mistake. Oh the motorhome's owner declined to press charges, calling it the best laugh he's ever had. So you put it in there and you suck on it, and out comes the sewage and not the but even gasoline would be bad. It's it's bad for it, it makes you so ill. So how do you make antifreeze? Let's see. Oh, I know that one.
SPEAKER_02How do you know? What do you do?
SPEAKER_01Uh take away your blanket.
SPEAKER_02You take away her blanket. Yeah. How'd you know that?
SPEAKER_01I I've heard that one somewhere.
SPEAKER_04All right. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh, since you got dogs, how here's one about um dog yummies.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01In Spring Valley, California, thieves broke into a commercial meat freezer in Spring Valley and are not being pursued as a high priority. The freezer is located equidistant between two buildings. The thieves undoubtedly thought the freezer belonged to a restaurant and they were stealing frozen steaks for resale. In reality, it belongs to the restaurant's next door neighbor, Paradise Valley Road Pet Hospital, which reported nine youth and ice dogs missing.
SPEAKER_00Oh, are you serious?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They thought they were stealing steaks and they took frozen dogs. Oh my gosh, I almost puked. I know. That one was.
SPEAKER_02Well, we can stay on the dogs and cats for a minute. Okay, you got another one? My friend Nora. She had she adopted four cats. Okay. So I asked her, What are their names? She said a tonic or pillar, atoract, and astrophic. What? I said, what kind of what kind of names are those? She said, those are their last names. I said, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So what are their first names? She said, cat. Cat. Caterpillar, cataract, cat, atonic, catastrophic.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's cute. I I didn't think about that. I could name that's what I could name my cat. Okay, here's here's another dumb criminal. You want to hear another dumb criminal. Dumb criminal. Spokane, Washington. Police had little difficulty catching up with the woman who robbed the five-mile branch of the Washington Trust Bank last Saturday. The woman who walked into the bank and showed the teller what appeared to be the handle of a gun was given an undetermined amount of cash. She then walked out of the bank, got into a waiting cab, and left. Police traced the taxi and got the woman's address. She was arrested without incident. She didn't even have enough to get a good getaway car and drive her.
SPEAKER_02She had to I mean at least have the cab drive you to uh uh not a real location.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the cab take you straight to the Oh my gosh. I know. Isn't that something? How do you make the number seven even?
SPEAKER_01Even? Yeah, you know, because it's not an even number. So how I I don't know. How do you make this number seven even?
SPEAKER_02The number seven? You make it even, you just remove the S.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's even.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, seven to even. Different pronunciation. Oh, interesting. Got another dumb crook here. Now this one's really dumb. Okay. Oh boy. Chicago. Two would-be robbers could not have picked a worse place than Z Sports Tap for their holdup attempt.
SPEAKER_02I think I know that place, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Much to their chagrin, there was a retirement party going on for a police officer. There were more than 100 cops in the bar. They quickly subdued the robbers and called on duty police. That's what makes this job interesting, dumb people.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so they they didn't plan very well on that one.
SPEAKER_02Dummies.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Ah. Hey, I got an idea here. You seem to like my uh limericks that I wrote. Oh yeah. And I think you you you told me one time that you wanted me to write one while we were on the air.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I said you should make it like show themed. You should make it uh UFR, unfit for radio. I don't know. Okay. Use your magic wand and just go, okay.
SPEAKER_01Let me let me write one here while we're on the air. And I will see if I can do that and explain to the audience here how these are done.
SPEAKER_02Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01The first line's usually the easiest to write. Okay. You just come up with a thing and you just about your uh uh a sentence. It's basically a sentence about your your theme. Okay. Now the problem is that uh the last word has to rhyme with some other word. So you have to be careful what word you pick. Because if you pick a word that doesn't have many rhyming words, you're stuck. Like orange or silver? Yeah, or purple or you know, things like that.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I can rhyme purple with your norple.
SPEAKER_01Slurple. Um but so um let's see if I can come up with one, okay? And we'll see if we can rhyme one while we're sitting here.
SPEAKER_02All right, Mr. Herple.
SPEAKER_01Are you ready? Mr. Herple. Oh, the first line's always the easiest. Let's see. Let's want to write about. You said that. Oh yeah. Well, I had to remind myself. Okay. Um there once there once were two guys with a podcast. Okay, that's us. All right, there once were two guys with the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_01I shouldn't have picked that word though, because I it doesn't rhyme with anything. Let's see. Blast and past and cast. Um boy. Last.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_01There isn't much that rhymes. Um there once were two guys with a podcast. Broadcast. Okay. Who weren't good enough for a broadcast.
SPEAKER_03Hey.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. It's kind of a not exactly rhyming, but it's close enough. It's close enough. Okay. There once were two guys with a podcast who weren't good enough for a broadcast. What did we do when we had our podcast? We did something. We um we used the the computer. We talked to friends, we um we looked around, we got information. Okay. All right. Okay. You're going somewhere. I'm getting somewhere. Okay, we're getting there. There once were two guys with a podcast who weren't good enough for a broadcast. So they turned to the web. Oh boy, what rhymes with web? So they turned to the web. Ah, got it. And then we're celeb. Okay, we became celebrities. How's that?
SPEAKER_02That's not I had to install the electrical fence, so it all makes sense, Darius.
SPEAKER_01So they turn to the web and then we're celeb and oh, it's got to rhyme with podcast again. Oh boy. Okay, then I'll just use the word podcast again because I don't know what else to use. There once were two guys with a podcast who weren't good enough for a broadcast. So they turned to the web and then were celeb and then had a blast with the podcast. Hey, hey, hey, that sounds like us. Good job. How's that? How's that? How's that for writing one?
SPEAKER_02That sounds amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You did a good job. Thank you. I can't always write that. I think you're gonna get I can't always write that well.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna get a gimme or a Grammy or a some sort of an award.
SPEAKER_01Here's something I ran across. You've heard uh you've heard the uh this the uh the saying, you know, one taco short of a combo plate. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I got a whole page of those.
SPEAKER_02No way.
SPEAKER_01Yes, there's 35 of them. I didn't know there were so many ways to say the same thing.
SPEAKER_02You gotta go through all of them?
SPEAKER_01I no. Well, I gotta say some for later. Okay. I'll probably read the first first few. Okay. Okay. These are good. Okay. This the first the first one I've heard before. He's a few clowns short of a circus.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I've heard that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, I like that one. And I've heard this one too. A few fries short of a happy meal. Okay, and we were talking earlier today about artificial intelligence. We were. We were. This is called an experiment in artificial stupidity.
SPEAKER_05Oh no.
SPEAKER_01A few beers short of a six-pack.
SPEAKER_05Huh.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Dumber than a box of hair.
SPEAKER_02Box of hair?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't get that one. I that one's on here, but I don't get that one. A few peas short of a casserole.
SPEAKER_02Wait, are they saying box of hair like the the the head has no brain?
SPEAKER_01It's just a box with No, you know, you cut it off and then you save it and put it in a box. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't make sense.
SPEAKER_02All right. If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.
SPEAKER_01Well, I like this one. Doesn't have all this cornflakes in one box. Oh my lord. The wheel spinning, but the hamster's dead.
SPEAKER_02Uh they used to say, like when somebody was crazy driving, oh, they must have got their license from a cracker jack box.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I've heard that one. I haven't heard that one in years. Because they don't put toys in cracker jack boxes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they don't put anything in there. Because stupid suing people sue because they they choked on a toy. Well, it's just there's a toy inside. Yeah, it tells you about that, yeah. Like it's they're iconic for having toys inside, then you ruined it for everybody because you're a dummy. You didn't read and choked on a stupid toy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. They used to always put toys in cereal boxes and nobody ever died on it from uh from what I know. I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_02I think I don't know. Maybe maybe nobody really died or choked. Maybe it was just their way of saving money and they said somebody died.
SPEAKER_01Could be. Here's one about cereal. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl. Oh my gosh. Oh, you talked about cheese sandwich? Yeah. The cheese slid off its cracker.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_02Oh do you know how to make a waterbed more bouncy?
SPEAKER_01Make a waterbed more bouncy, so you can't put springs in it because that'd put a hole in it. Um, I have no idea. You were really close. Oh. You fill it up with spring water. Oh, spring water, yeah. That I don't think that would do it.
SPEAKER_02That's the cleanest version I had of the game. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. All right, let's play some games.
SPEAKER_00Would you rather? Rather. Rather, rather, rather, would you rather?
SPEAKER_01Would you rather complete a research project using dial up internet or a typewriter?
SPEAKER_02Hmm. Me first?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, yeah, why don't you go first?
SPEAKER_02I'd rather use a typewriter. Because I I like the typewriter. I used to do all kinds of stuff. Like I used to print way back in my early church days. I used to do like song lyrics and all kinds of things on typewriters. And uh Yeah. I like those. I mean, I can still use the internet for other things. I don't have to use the dial-up. I would just use the typewriter to type out my report or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, back in high school. This this shows how old I am. Back in high school, I took a typing class for uh for a half a year. And uh on a manual, they didn't even let us use electrics. You don't look like that type. You don't look like that type. That's cute. Anyway. Yeah, so I'd I think I'd rather use a typewriter rather than dial up internet, because that no, I've never used that. Even though I'm that old, I never did use that.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Uh would you rather visit every country once or Or ten countries as many times as you want.
SPEAKER_01Every country what every country once?
SPEAKER_02Would you rather visit every country once? Or ten countries as many times as you like?
SPEAKER_01Oh. Oh. I guess I would ten countries as many times as I want. If I could pick the countries of something that I'm think I would like and then I could go back and enjoy it again. Yeah, that's what I would do.
SPEAKER_02I would like to visit every country once, but is this so does this mean once I leave my home country I can't come back because I was already there once?
SPEAKER_01No. That doesn't count for your home country. That just counts for the others around the world.
SPEAKER_02Alright, alright. Then I would uh I would visit I would visit every country once because I don't know. There's some countries that once you visit, you might not want to go back.
SPEAKER_01I think you're right. They shall remain nameless.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. I'm not offending none of our offend anybody. Because we are in every single continent. We are worldwide and we love every one of our listeners. No matter where you are.
SPEAKER_01Oh dear. Would you rather fly a World War II fighter jet or steer a medieval pirate ship? Oh, gee. Oh, gee.
SPEAKER_02You first. I want to hear this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um well I get seasick on a medieval pirate ship. But I don't think I don't like to fly, and I don't want to be in a war. So I guess I'll have to steer a medieval pirate ship. And find me a treasure. Oh, that's good. Talk like a pirate day. That's not till like September.
SPEAKER_02I uh I think I would do the uh the fighter jet thing. It it remind me of like Top Gun, and I think it'd be uh a better thrill for me and my uh personality. I like that.
SPEAKER_01Make sure you wear a parachute up so you can jump out.
SPEAKER_02See, and I've been skydiving before.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_02I love skydiving. I know I haven't been in a couple of years, so I would love to go again.
SPEAKER_01But well, you can jump for me because I'm not going.
SPEAKER_02I'll take your ashes with me. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Would you rather iny meany mini mo on these cards? Okay. Would you rather be the best sculptor of all time or the best dancer?
SPEAKER_01I would rather be the best sculptor of all time.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it then my thing would last. If dancing, you'd once you're done dancing, unless somebody's videotaped it, then it's done and nobody sees it again. Your thing doesn't last. Yeah, your thing doesn't last, you know. I wanted to do a thing that lasts.
SPEAKER_02Uh, I don't know. I was raised up watching Michael Jackson like a lot. And he was the best dancer of all time, I think. And if you could outdo that, I don't know. I don't know if I'd be capable of it, but that would be that'd be rather interesting to me. So I would I would pick the best. Hold me closer, tiny dancer. I'd do that one. You don't even know that song, do you?
SPEAKER_01No, but I've seen some other stuff that he's done on on I watch it on um YouTube, so I but I don't know all his music.
SPEAKER_02Don't stop till you get enough, right?
SPEAKER_01Okay, sorry.
SPEAKER_02Doesn't matter if you're black or white.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_02Tell him that is human nature.
SPEAKER_01Those must be lyrics from a song.
SPEAKER_02Been struck by a smooth criminal. Ah come on, don't say these words to me that I do. You know this is a good thriller.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I thriller I know. Thriller, I know. Okay. So is it your turn now to ask me? I think it is.
SPEAKER_02No, I just I just read that.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's my turn. Boy, there's only two people and we're getting confused.
SPEAKER_02I'm having too many senior moments over there. I gotta take you somewhere.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're getting dyslexia, and I'm getting senior moments. We're we're great.
SPEAKER_02No wonder why we're missing some marbles.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I feel like it sometimes. Oh, I had a marble story one time. Oh yeah, I'm gonna I mean I'll tell you that later. Okay, maybe, maybe. Would you rather get turned into a horseshoe crab or a cockroach? Oh. Oh, brother.
SPEAKER_02I think I would rather get turned into a horseshoe crab. I really think those are awesome. Like I actually had one of those in my saltwater fish tank.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you did? I didn't hear that story. I didn't know that. Okay.
SPEAKER_02When when, you know, things happen when the horseshoe crab ended up outliving its life and passing on. I uh I took it out of the this is a weird story, but I'm already knee deep, so I'm going. Okay, so you did. I took it, I took it out of the aquarium, out of the fish tank, I set it on this, you know, countertop.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02And I let it dry out. Oh my gosh, it turned into the most incredible looking like sculpture thing on the counter. Like it dried out and it kept all of its detail. And oh my gosh. But anyways, horseshoe crab. I like horseshoe crab for multiple reasons. And I this is one of those things where like every show I tell somebody that they need to go and fact-check me because it's one of those Jake facts. So go and fact-check me, people. But I heard like horseshoe crab, their blood has some sort of like um cure for a disease, or uh it helps it helps us with something. So in some sort of country, they actually go and gather horseshoe crabs and take their blood, as much blood as they can take it without killing it, and then they release it again or whatnot. And anyways, though, I talked too much. Horseshoe crab, right? That was my answer.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Um as much as I don't want to spend my life underwater, I'd rather do that than be a cockroach because people are always trying to step on you and and you have a lousy life and you have to eat crappy stuff. And uh yeah, our shoe crab would be better.
SPEAKER_02But you could relate to being a cockroach because they live forever. They can outdo like a nuclear disaster.
SPEAKER_01I know, but once you get stepped on, then you're you're gone. So that yeah, I wouldn't want that. Gotcha. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Would you rather play catch with a dead fish? Or eat a dead grasshopper.
unknownOh god.
SPEAKER_03Oh god, I heard you.
SPEAKER_01Uh as much as I hate slimy things like fish, I would have rather do that. I would not eat a dead grasshopper, but I I have a story about that. I don't know if I may have already told you this story. Before you tell the story, I'll get to my answer. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02I I agree. I'd rather play with the dead fish.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Grasshopper story.
SPEAKER_01Grasshopper. Um, my grandparents would uh come and visit us here in Arizona. They lived in Indiana, and they would come visit us um every now and then. And when my grandfather came here, he would go to a special store somewhere in town, and he would buy himself chocolate-covered ants and chocolate-covered grasshoppers, and he would eat them in front of us. And and the kids thought we, you know, there were six of us, and he thought we all thought he was nuts, but he would eat chocolate-covered grasshoppers.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they had those stores. Um, I think I I think I saw them even like at the airport and stuff like that, one of those uh souvenir gift shop type things. Um, and I had one many times. Uh it's weird to say, but I had one of those suckers that have a a scorpion inside.
SPEAKER_01Oh, the scorpion inside, yeah. I've seen those. Yeah, those scorpion suckers. I ate those a lot as a kid. And but what'd you do when you come down to the scorpion?
SPEAKER_02I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02Well, I couldn't remember if I ever ate it or if I licked it. And I I don't remember, honestly. And that's I wish I did.
SPEAKER_01I've seen those, but I there's no way I could ever lick that sucker. I it just no, there's no way. No. Would you rather participate in the running of the bulls or go free climbing without a harness?
SPEAKER_02I'd rather go free climbing without a harness. I I'm not route running no bull. I've saw those videos. Those people, I mean, if stupidity was captured on video, that's what it would clearly look like is these people like, hey bull, hey, come chase me. And then they run for a little bit, they get out of breath, they're like, oh my god, I'm scared. I need help. Half these people end up in the hospital afterwards, and it's it's stupidity at its finest, and I just don't get it. I know it's a a culture thing for other countries and stuff like that, and we do things here that doesn't make sense to them, and vice versa, and that's okay, but it doesn't make sense to me, so I wouldn't run, I would not run against Nopal. I would do the the other thing that I forgot about. What was it?
SPEAKER_01Oh, go free climbing without a harness.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I think that relates to my skydiving. Where, you know, I'd go, I mean, how how high are we talking? Are we talking Mount Everest?
SPEAKER_01It doesn't say.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So I mean, we don't have to we don't have to be very high. We don't have to be cheeching chong. We don't have to be very high. You didn't get that one either. Yeah, I got that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01What about you? Well, I don't like to climb mountains, and I certainly wouldn't do it without a harness, so I would have to run it with the bulls. You're gonna run against the bull. Yeah, because the majority of the people don't get injured, so I would be one of the ones that don't get injured. I'm gonna pay to see this. What? Well, you'd what you'd pay to watch me do that? Yeah. Okay. That would be a lot That would be something, wouldn't it?
unknownOh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Would you rather last card okay be so famous that you can't go out in public? Or lead a quiet life without ever achieving fame. I kind of already know your answer.
SPEAKER_01Oh, mine's number two. I I want to be anonymous and um quiet. Well, nobody knows who I but nobody knows who I really am in real life. So investigate. Well, sorry, but no, nobody knows who I am in real life, and I want to keep it that way. So I don't know what I'm gonna do if we ever decide to go to video. I'll have to have a f face mask and wig and you're gonna have to get that warrant squared away first. Yep, gotta do something. Hey, hey, don't tell don't tell everybody about that.
SPEAKER_02Hey, that was from the tombstone era. I doubt that thing still.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, oh yeah, tombstone, yeah. Doc, what's his name? Doc somebody.
SPEAKER_02We can have tombstone. Uh I heard there's a there's a haunted house down there. You want to go check it out and do a report sometime? Or is that too uh Oh no, I would do that. Is that too intense?
SPEAKER_01We went to the birdcage theater when we were there that was haunted. Oh yeah? We didn't see anything or hear anything, but it was haunted, and we yeah, we got to see that.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna do a survey. If I get ten emails about you guys should go and do a haunted house um experiment or show or whatnot segment, we're gonna do it. But we're not gonna do it until the audience tells us to. So that's on them. The ball is in everybody's ears court.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay. Yeah, I would do that. I'd go and spend the night at a haunted house or hotel room or something.
SPEAKER_02Me too. Okay. I don't know. Okay. I don't know about spending the night, but I would go check it out.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we'll check it out.
SPEAKER_02Uh I would check out I would probably pick the okay, so the question was for the people that forgot, would you rather be so famous that you can't go out in public or live a quiet life without ever achieving fame? I would probably Yeah, which one would you pick? I would probably pick the second. I like the second because I don't need fame to be successful or to achieve other things that's useful in life. Fame to me it's almost like the dessert. If if you do something so magnifying or so uh amazing that you become famous because of it, that's you know the secondary thing. I don't ever do something to become famous. I don't I don't think that there's a um a worth in it. Some people might find a worth in it. I think that it's short-lived. I think you have to fight for it and the things that you have to do to fight for it is not worth fighting for. And I have uh I have dignity and respect for the people around me. I don't wanna I don't wanna treat people like garbage just to make myself feel good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, good idea. Okay, I'll go for that.
SPEAKER_02Would you rather is now over. Okay. You ready to go over to our next game? I should have known that. Oh, you want to do that? Yeah. Okay, let's do our game. The way we play, I should have known that, is a little different than the typical way that it is played uh on the board game. We take the numbers that is on the back of the card and add them all together if answered correctly, and that equals the official uh point count of the winner or loser. So, without further ado, what compresses the layer in the stratosphere that protects us from the sun's harmful ultraviolet radiation?
SPEAKER_01Um, let's see, that would be the ionosphere. And I don't know if that's the answer, or I don't know. I don't know what compresses it, but I just I think it's ionosphere. It's another layer up there. Like the ozone? No, ozone but puts a hole in it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well you got that wrong.
SPEAKER_01Okay, sorry. Okay, what's the answer?
SPEAKER_02Sorry if I read that wrong.
SPEAKER_01What's the answer? Ozone. Ozone does that? I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I didn't know that neither. No, okay, so I learned something.
SPEAKER_02Who uh so that was eight points that you had. Darn, I needed that. It's alright. That was a hard question. Okay. Hard one for me to even read. Uh who appears? On the American $100 bill.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's Benjamin Franklin.
SPEAKER_02Benjamin Franklin for seven points. Correct. What color are the goalposts in a hot in ice hockey?
SPEAKER_01Um I don't know, and I used to work hockey games. Um the net is white, I think, but I red? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Red is correct. Oh, oh, look at that.
SPEAKER_01Six points.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. What do you call a person who exposes misconduct or illegal activities in an organization?
SPEAKER_01I know that one. Um he leaks. Um he leaks? Yeah, he leaks. Um he needs diapers? What do you mean? No, he yeah, he told display. Yeah. Yeah. I oh, I know that word. He yeah, he he tells the truth and lets the information out, and it's called a um a snitch. No. Um snitches give stitches. Um, shoot. And I know that word, but I can't think of it right now. That's because I'm too old. I'm too old, and I don't know that word. I mean, I know it, but I can't think of it. Oh, yeah, whistleblower. Yeah, see, I knew it.
SPEAKER_02I knew it. I don't usually give you hints, but I was like, man, this is gonna be like yeah, because I knew it.
SPEAKER_01I just couldn't catch, I couldn't, yeah.
SPEAKER_02All right, that was eight points, so you you redeemed those eight points.
SPEAKER_01Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_02All right, so let's hear my card. Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.
SPEAKER_01I haven't even read these. I don't even know what you got for me over there, and I haven't even read these myself, so let's see. Oh, you'll know this one. I hope. What does the abbreviation BRB stand for in Internet Slang and TechSpeak? B R B.
SPEAKER_02B R B R B R B Bop Bob.
SPEAKER_01You would know that. Be right back. Oh, look at that. You're right. You got seven points.
SPEAKER_02Oh, nice and seven. And how do you make seven even?
SPEAKER_01You erase the S. Okay. You might know this one too. Another tech one. What company owns YouTube?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I don't know if they originally owned it at the beginning, but I do know who owns it right now. It is a Google.
SPEAKER_01Google Google Google. Okay, five points. Five points. Yeah. You might not know this one because this goes way before your time.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Who founded Playboy magazine in 1953? Oh, I know this. Oh, you do? The HEF? The new HEF? Yeah. Six. Six points you earned. Yeah. I know you just read it. You just read it for the articles, okay? You just okay.
SPEAKER_04No comment.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you probably know this one too, because you're a uh Starbucks visitor. Which contains more milk, a cafe latte or a cappuccino?
SPEAKER_02Um, a latte. Latte has more milk.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you got four.
SPEAKER_02Or I don't like coffee too much, but I've been trying not to do energy drinks every day. It overstimulizes you.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_02What you got for me? On a cordy computer or keyboard, what letter is to the right of a B?
SPEAKER_01Oh cute. Shoot. Sam, we just talked about typewriters, and I used to know that. Um I don't know. And I use a keyboard every day.
SPEAKER_02You have twenty-five guesses. You want to take a stab at one of the twenty-five?
SPEAKER_01No. I can't I can't even. No, I can't even.
SPEAKER_02The word that you keep saying is in it.
SPEAKER_01In?
SPEAKER_02There you go.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02It's only four points, I'll give it to you.
SPEAKER_01Okay, thanks.
SPEAKER_02You might know this one.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02In what state is Gettysburg located?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I just read that this morning. Phil um Pennsylvania. Good.
SPEAKER_02So this next one, I I think you're gonna if you don't know this one, I don't think you're as old as you say you are.
SPEAKER_01Uh oh, okay. Take me back.
SPEAKER_02What was the name of the former US president? George W. Bush's mother.
SPEAKER_01Uh oh yeah, I see your picture in my mind. Um George W.
SPEAKER_02Bush's mom?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02So his dad's name was George. George H.W.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And his wife's name.
SPEAKER_01Martha, George and Martha? No. Martha Washington. No, I don't re I don't know his his I should know that. I should know that, but I don't.
SPEAKER_02I know. That's your final.
SPEAKER_01That's my final answer is I don't know.
SPEAKER_02You got people yelling through the radio. I hear that.
SPEAKER_01I know. I I do too. Barbara! Oh yeah, Barbara Bush. See, I I knew that, but I know.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, this next one. This next one's a high pointer. And it should be very, very easy for you. Okay. If not, I I'm gonna go and get you checked after this.
SPEAKER_01Okay, you get me you get me checked out. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you need a cat scan or something. You got too many cats.
SPEAKER_01Right, no.
SPEAKER_02How many disciples did Jesus have?
SPEAKER_01That's 12. I know that one.
SPEAKER_02Yay! For eight points.
SPEAKER_01Good. I need to.
SPEAKER_02So you lost one eight and one seven, but overall you have a good uh spread here. What's my final card?
SPEAKER_01Oh, are you ready?
SPEAKER_02I'm I'll try. I'm nervous, but I'll try.
SPEAKER_01You might know. One, two. You might know two of them. I think you probably know two of them. Well, okay. Here's the first one. What is the name of the largest hot desert in the world? Oh, aren't we kind of close to it?
SPEAKER_02It's like the uh not saworl. That's a cacti.
SPEAKER_01But you're yeah, you're getting there. I know what you're trying to say.
SPEAKER_02Sahara?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You referral?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you got seven points. Wait, what? What?
SPEAKER_04Okay.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_04I'll take them.
SPEAKER_01Okay. You but you might know this one too. I don't know. The 19th century goldsmith Faberger is best known for creating what type of objects? Goldsmith Faberget. Oh my god. My brain just went blank. I know. That's what happens. Your brain knows it and then it goes blank when it hears the question.
SPEAKER_02You say I know this one too. It makes me even more mad. Oh I don't want to waste people's time. I don't feel like I know it. So I'm just gonna take the the L. Give me the loss. How much? How much did I lose?
SPEAKER_01Three only three points. Really?
SPEAKER_02And what was the answer?
SPEAKER_01Easter eggs. You know that. See, you knew he made eggs.
SPEAKER_02I don't get into Easter egg stuff though. I don't really do that type of thing.
SPEAKER_01But you knew you've seen Fabrich eggs.
SPEAKER_02My God, I can't believe I did that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well, you'll know this one.
SPEAKER_02There's only three points, though.
SPEAKER_01It's only three points. What does the company Ben and Jerry's produce? Oh, ice cream. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's nine. Or nowadays, what is it called? Frozen dessert?
SPEAKER_01Because it's not even ice cream anymore. Yeah, so that's nine points. Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's that was too freaking easy.
SPEAKER_01That's what I thought.
SPEAKER_02Sorry. I didn't mean to say freaking like a bad word, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01What is a chinchilla? Isn't that like a coat? Or yeah, it's a coat. Or is that a dog or a squirrel?
SPEAKER_02Not a dog. That's a chihuahua.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's that's a chihuahua. That's a little different than a chinchilla.
SPEAKER_02It's a rodent, right?
SPEAKER_01Yep, you got that one now. It's four.
SPEAKER_02Four points. So I got 42 and lost three. Is that right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. 42 and lost three.
SPEAKER_02And you have 39 and lost 15.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Yeah, sorry about that. So I I won. Beach it by like three points.
SPEAKER_02But I think you won last time. So this is my redemption.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I think it is your redemption. I wanted to talk about my experience at my Chinese restaurant that I had a couple three weeks ago.
SPEAKER_02What?
SPEAKER_01Yes. You want to hear about that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I have not heard about this. You have not heard about that.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02You're going to get my true reaction.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Um, I've seen this Chinese restaurant, and it's in Scottsdale. I will not name it. And um I've seen it many times. And I thought, well, one day I'm going to go over there and I'm going to have Chinese food. Check it out for us. So the opportunity came up for me to go there by myself, and I did. And I walked in, uh greeted friendly, very nice. Uh table uh the room was small, but it was clean and inviting, and um people were talking and friendly and and having conversations. And while I was looking at the menu, some regulars came in and oh, how you doing, and you know, glad to see you again and everything. And I looked at the menu and I ordered two items. I ordered um egg fuyang and I ordered um the the noodles that go with it because I didn't want the rice. Came with rice. I didn't want rice, so I ordered noodles.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So it was delivered to my table. I took one bite of each and I thought, what in the world is this? It tasted like cardboard. Both of them tasted like cardboard. There was no flavor, nothing. And I've I've had Chinese food my whole life in different restaurants. We've got five of them down by where we live, and we we pr we liked their food and it was wonderful. And this was I forced down one egg foo young. They brought me three. Oh, you forced it down. I forced it down. Oh man. And then the noodles, I ate a few of those, but I should have complained and said I didn't want it and w bring me something else, but I didn't, and I took the rest of it home and I ended up throwing it away because it was just I couldn't force myself to eat it.
SPEAKER_02But you didn't like none of it?
SPEAKER_01No. It was it was so bad. And it cost me a lot of money. I was surprised at how much they charged for it too. And um I ended up having to throw it out because it was just no good. And um So you never go back to that restaurant? No, heavens no. And I was so surprised because I saw Chinese people and they're eating with their chopsticks and they were enjoying food. So and maybe it's what I ordered. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02But um do you want to know something? I I don't know if it's true at every restaurant, but another Jake Jake fact. Okay. I've been to certain Chinese restaurants or or Asian restaurants where they have two menus. They have one menu for the Americans.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Then they have another menu for the traditional people.
SPEAKER_01No, I never heard that.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and then the other menu is more spicier, it has other options, it's more different than the what they call the white version.
SPEAKER_01Oh, no.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and so uh even Mexican restaurants sometimes do that. They have like the they have a salsa for, you know, for one and then a different type of salsa.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I've seen that, but um no didn't know about the different menus. That's the first I've heard of that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I learned that when I did a little door dashing back in my day, and uh I learned that through that experience.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so I wanted to mention that because I I thought it was horrible and I should have complained and said this is no good. Well now you're putting them on Blast Worldwide. Well, yeah, but they're they're not there could be any Chinese restaurant in Scottsdale because there's no n I'm not gonna mention it, but Oh, I like this one. This is called revenge because sometimes people tick off other people and they shouldn't have done that and they get revenged. Okay.
SPEAKER_02All right.
SPEAKER_01A shabbily dressed man went up to a teller at the U.S. Bank of Washington in Spokane and asked her to validate his 60 cent parking ticket. No way. She refused. The man asked to talk to a bank manager about the matter. The manager also refused. Oh boy. So 59-year-old John Barrier withdrew all the money he had on deposit. One million dollars, and took it down the street to the Seafirst Bank. If you have one dollar in bank or one million, I think they owe you the courtesy of stamping your parking ticket, he said. So he got revenge on them. Why?
SPEAKER_02Somebody got in trouble because they were asked probably. Who who withdraw their money that day? Why'd they shut down their account? Over a 50 cent or 20 cent parking? You're fired.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, something like that, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So you know how we were talking like a pirate a little bit ago?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02Well, this Saturday, September 19th, is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I did not know that. And then uh this Friday, this Friday is National Cheeseburger Day. What? Already? Yeah. It seemed like we just had that, but I guess not. And then this Monday, September 21st, this Monday is National Day of Peace. So I didn't know that. We better be pretty peaceful Monday.
SPEAKER_01Hey, I got I got a little uh thing here that uh that is related to you and your family. Oh. Uh-huh. I'm all ears. Okay. In the early 1920s, R. A. Watkins, owner of a small printing plant in Illinois, uh-huh, was approached by a man who wanted to sell him the rights to a homemade device made of wax cardboard and tissue. Uh huh. You could write on it, but the messages could easily be erased by lifting up the tissue. Watkins couldn't make up his mind. He told the man to come back the next day. In the middle of the night, Watkins' phone rang. It was the man calling from jail. He said if Watkins would bail him out, he'd give Watkins the right to the invention. The printer agreed. He wound up getting a patent for the device, which he called Magic Slate. Since then, tens of millions have been sold. Now I had one of those, or several when I was a child, and write on it and you pull the sling up and it erases. But I noticed that your your child um has an electronic one, and I was playing with it the other day, and I thought that was pretty cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can like draw on it, then you hit the button and it disappears. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what that's called, but it's it's fascinating.
SPEAKER_01And um I was surprised that to see that they had an electronic version of it, but it makes sense because it's easier.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Asher, he'll he'll come up and he'll be like, Daddy, I drew you a picture, and then I'll write on it and he'll say, like, you know, hey, write my name, and then I'll put his name on there, then he can see what his name looks like and start trying to Yeah, it's real it's a real fun device for sure. It was cheap too. I think it was like ten bucks or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it looks like it's uh well built though. Could stand up to a kid.
SPEAKER_02I might have got it at Costco. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01I got another story, uh treasure in the trash.
SPEAKER_02Ooh. On the pirate task.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Yeah, this might have something to do with the pirates. I don't know. Uh no, it doesn't. The find, a $200,000 prize. Okay. Where it was found in the garbage. In 1995, Craig Randall, a 23-year-old trash collector in Peabody, Massachusetts, noticed a Wendy's contest cup sitting in some garbage he was collecting. I won a chicken sandwich the week before, he told reporters. I and I figured, hey, I'll get some fries to go with it. Instead, when he peeled off that sticker, he saw, Congratulations, you've won $200,000 toward a new home. The fact that he found the cup didn't matter. Wendy's gave him the money anyway. I have no idea where he came from, he said. It was just sitting there. Can you imagine? Talk about a lucky find. Stuff like that never happens to me.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01But anyway, that was that was interesting.
SPEAKER_02That's really cool. I like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I think I've lost all my marbles now, so I think we're uh we're ready to move on. Bam! Just like that, episode 44, Missing Marvels is officially in the recorder computer cloud. Well, whatever that thing is, that I'll never understand. The important part is it's available for you 24 hours a day. You can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, and wherever you get your podcast. If you're enjoying today's episode, leave us a review.
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SPEAKER_01Credits for this episode, executive producer and recording by Jacobs Producer, Ray. Yay, I'm working over here too. UFR Music and Episode Mastering by Ronald L. Jones on Instagram at Ronnie Cash Life.
SPEAKER_02Remember, if you can't find the good, then be the good. Until next time. Peace. Say in our adios.
SPEAKER_01Bye.
SPEAKER_02Hostelo Vista, baby.